Mixed Signals

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Just thinking about this whole city being destroyed is a 24/7 thought that always runs through my mind. I'm not crazy...or that's at least what I think. I just really hate this city. I hate it so much that I would literally be happy if it sinks to hell. Another place I hate is my high school 'Del Norte High' that is literally the devils home. All the people in that annoying school makes me sick to my stomach. Almost every night after a school day I would literally scream in my pillow and have a huge mental breakdown.

Ever since high school I've been having mental breakdowns like my life depended on it. I never tell anyone except for my best friend Morgan, but she wouldn't understand what I'm going through. She's very skinny, pretty, and athletic. While I am the total opposite. I feel as if whenever we are in the same room together I feel as if everyone notices her and I'm just invisible. I want to feel pretty for once. I want to feel the feeling of a boy liking me back.

Tomorrow is the first day of my senior year of high school. The first day of my senior year back in that hell hole. All summer I dreaded going back. I wanted the days to go by slowly during the summer. I didn't want to go back to a school that lowers my self esteem everyday. Needing to get my thoughts away from school I grabbed my tv remote and put on netflix. I watch k-dramas so I can get away from this world. My favorite at the moment is 'Because this is my first life'. Getting comfortable in my bed as I read the subtitles I hear my phone notifications go off. Grabbing my phone from off of the nightstand I looked at my screen to see it was Morgan that texted.

'I can't wait to see my crush tomorrow' Morgan had texted.

I groaned from annoyance. The whole summer all she has ever talked about was Daniel. He's this weird asian kid that she's been having a crush on since our ninth grade year. I never knew someone as pretty as her would like someone like him. He didn't even seem like he would ever be her type. I was quite surprised when she told me she had liked him, but I still liked the thought of them one day being together. I think in my own little opinion that he has feelings for her.

'You better hope you have a class with him so you can finally talk to him,' I texted back.

It wasn't even thirty seconds and she had already texted back.

'I know!!! I will be really sad if I have no classes with him,' She texted.

'I hope so too so you can finally be Mrs. Martin!!!' I texted. After about half an hour of me and Morgan texting I had put my phone down to get back to watching my show.

In the midst of the night as it got later and later I just hoped this school year would be worth it. Last year was not good at all. My insecurities last year had skyrocketed. I never in my short span of life ever cared about my looks. High school can really damage you.

~

That morning I got up very early to get ready for the devils school house. The only part of me that was happy for this day was that it was my first last day of being at this school, and also I got to wear my favorite clothing style that I bought with my own money. I was happy and proud of myself that I don't have to wait for my parents to buy me things, I can do it whenever I want now. When I was finally ready I sluggishly met my mom and my little brother, Shawn in the car. I'm always the last person to get to the car and my brother gets so annoyed because he wants to hang out with his friends before the school day actually starts. Me personally, I don't really care because the plenty of times he skips should be his little social hour with his friends.

When I got to the school I dreaded getting out of the car. I did not want to be here at all. Walking into the school house I went straight to my first period class which is Environmental science with Ms. Deacon. Standing outside her door I got a facetime call from Morgan. Answering the facetime call I see her in her new hair due and new clothes. She looked really pretty today.