Beautiful

Chapter 46

Veronica POV

My eyes adjust to the dark of what I realize is my bedroom. My bedroom, in New York. I feel someone try to touch me, but I don't know who it is so I hit them away. I struggle with the person for a second before he, I realize it's a he, turns on the lamp by my bed. I can make out faint shadows and light. He takes my face in his hands and tries make me see him, but I can't see anything.

I'm confused. "Veronica baby look at me. It's me," he says. I'm still gasping, trying to catch my breath. I reach up and put my hands over the ones that are holding my face.

"I can't see anything," I croak as I try to even out my breathing.

"Do you know who I am?" the man asks tentatively.

I slowly shake my head, I don't think I can manage anymore movement than that. I'm scared.

"Drink this water, honey," the man says and I feel something pushed against my mouth. I realize it's water so I slowly, gently take it from him, drinking it.

My vision fades back and I can finally take in what's going on around me. A beautiful, shirtless man is in my bed with me. This makes no sense, my boyfriend is blonde and lives in Chicago. I'm confused again.

I really look at the man then, and it's like all of my memories come flooding back. I remember where I am, who I am.

"Theo?" I ask in a small voice.

He smiles a gentle smile and pushes my hair behind my ears. "Hi baby," he whispers. I catch my breath, trembling, and look at him. Tears haven't stopped falling from my eyes.

"What did I do?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" he asks me, still stroking my hair.

"Was-was I screaming? Did I cry? Was I moving around?" I ask, feeling a little frazzled.

"You we're tossing and turning. And you were crying," He replies gently. Slowly, I nod, my eyes falling from his face. He tries to wipe my tears but new ones just replace them. I turn away from him and put my hands in my lap.

"Do you remember in Chicago when I told you that you hadn't seen a glimpse into what you were gonna have to deal with?" I ask.

"Yeah," he whispers, putting his hand on my back, pulling me close.

"This is what I was talking about," I croak as the tears start to come harder. "This isn't my first or last night terror and you haven't even seen one of my PTSD flashbacks yet," I say. I turn and face him, there's no other way to have this conversation. I have to be honest with him.

I place my hands over the one of his that rests on my knee. "So now that you have a better idea of what you're dealing with I need to know that you're still okay to be here. Like I said before, I completely understand if you want to walk away," I tell him.

I try to keep my cool but I do not feel well at all. Not just emotionally, but physically. My flashbacks are always hard on me and my body.

Theo smirks. "Do you really think I'm gonna tap out now?" he asks. "Veronica, how many times do I have to tell you, you are my whole life. You own every last piece of my shredded heart. I'm not going anywhere. I can't go anywhere. I need you," he answers. I don't think he's being realistic.

"Really?" I ask, my voice laced with doubt. "So when I flinch at you or at loud noises, you won't take that the wrong way? When I have a flashback in public, or an anxiety attack, or even when you haven't slept in a week because I've had night terrors for seven straight nights, you'll still want to be with me then?"

"Yes," he answers me automatically. "I'll be there every single time. I'll take care of you, always."

I stare at him. I am truly dumbfounded, shook to my very core. For once, I am at a loss for words. He brushes the rest of my tears away before moving to turn off the lamp by the bed. He goes to lay back down and pulls my down with him, holding me as close as possible. I can't take my eyes off of him. I don't even know how he's real.