Beautiful

Chapter 45

Theo POV

I'm woken by movement from Ronnie's side of the bed. Her body is spasming, making these jerky movements, and tears are streaming down her face. She sputters, like she's struggling to breathe, and that scares the hell out of me.

I shake her, trying to wake her up. "Ronnie, baby, wake up," I say. She still doesn't wake up.

"Veronica, Veronica!" I yell and she finally jerks awake.

She sits all the way up, gasping. I try to reach for her but she hits my hand away. "Ronnie, baby, what's wrong?" I ask, but she doesn't say anything. She just keeps gasping and puts a hand on her stomach. I then try to pull her close so she can look me in the eyes, but she keeps trying to escape my hold.

I turn on the lamp by the bed so she can see. I finally manage to get her to look at me and it's like she has no idea who I am. Her pupils are so dilated that she can't possibly see anything.

"Veronica baby look at me. It's me," I say. She's still gasping. She reaches up and places her hands over mine that are holding her face.

"I can't see anything," she croaks out. Her breath starts to slow at a more even pace. I genuinely have no idea what to do.

"Do you know who I am?" I ask tentatively. I'm scared to hear her answer.

She slowly shakes her head. I spy a bottle of flavored water on her night stand. I reach over and grab it. "Drink this water, honey," I say. I put the bottle to her lips and she slowly, gently takes it from me, drinking the water.

It looks like her eyes start to clear, her pupils going back to a normal size. She really looks at me then, recognition dawning on her face.

"Theo?" she says in a small voice.

I give her a gentle smile, pushing her hair behind her ears. "Hi baby," I whisper. She catches her breath, trembling, as she looks at me. Tears still fall from her beautiful eyes.

"What did I do?" she asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask, still stroking her hair.

"Was-was I screaming? Did I cry? Was I moving around?" she asks.

"You we're tossing and turning. And you were crying," I answer her gently. Her eyes fall from my face as she nods slowly. I try to wipe her tears but new ones replace them. She turns from me, her hands falling in her lap.

"Do you remember in Chicago when I told you that you hadn't seen a glimpse into what you were gonna have to deal with?" she asks.

"Yeah," I whisper, putting my hand on her back. I need to feel her, I need to make sure she's okay.

"This is what I was talking about," she croaks. "This isn't my first or last night terror and you haven't even seen one of my PTSD flashbacks yet," she says. She turns back to me and places her hands over the one of mine that rests on her knee. "So now that you have a better idea of what you're dealing with I need to know that you're still okay to be here. Like I said before, I completely understand if you want to walk away," she says.

So much pain lingers on her face. With Veronica, the outside world can't always tell what she's feeling because she's so good at hiding her true emotions. But I know my girl. I can see the old and new scars ripping open.

I smirk. "Do you really think I'm gonna tap out now?" I ask. "Veronica, how many times do I have to tell you, you are my whole life. You own every last piece of my shredded heart. I'm not going anywhere. I can't go anywhere. I need you," I tell her honestly.

"Really?" she asks. "So when I flinch at you or at loud noises, you won't take that the wrong way? When I have a flashback in public, or an anxiety attack, or even when you haven't slept in a week because I've had night terrors for seven straight nights, you'll still want to be with me then?"

"Yes," I answer automatically. "I'll be there every single time. I'll take care of you, always."

She looks at me in disbelief. I brush the rest of her tears away before moving to turn off the lamp by the bed. I pull her into my arms as I go to lay back down. She's still staring at me as if unsure that I'm real.

I hold her as close as possible, still stroking her hair. Her left hand rests on my bare chest while her other arm is wrapped around my torso. She looks up at me. "Are you sure about this?" she asks.

I gaze into her eyes. "Baby, I will always be sure about you," I answer and kiss her forehead. "I love you," I say.

"I love you," she whispers. My heart lifts. Hearing those three words come from her is something I will never get tired of.

"Get some sleep, baby. I'm here, nothing can hurt you," I say.

She burrows into me and I squeeze her even tighter. My heart strains. She really thought I would leave her, that she was too much for me. I think it's time for me to make some moves, literally.