Art of Alchemy

Chapter 26 - Conflict

It was only the third day of classes for the year. Most students were socialising or finding their way around Asla's grounds. Rynden stood in his father office at the Palfer house. His mother had been down stairs at the time, ignorant of the things being said in her home.

"You are to get close to her and persuade her to be your partner." Thias said reading through papers on his pile. "When I received word it was Nelious Crocker who endorsed her, I had hoped she would stay away from casting, but it seems that thirst for power runs in her blood."

"We should try Charlie. They are closer." The words made Rynden feel sick, but he pushed them out. "I don't think she will trust me again, Sir."

His father sighed and sat back in his chair. "Your brother will not join our Order. He hasn't the tenacity for it. Pursuing that partnership will go nowhere. No, it must be you. We cannot have a repeat of what happened last time. Not with these Haxians banging at our door and the greater public none the wiser. We need trained casters we can control."

Rynden remembered the reports, he'd read them so many times he could recite them. He'd even seen Scarfengr's single recount; though brief, it was clear;

I saw them make a decision. We were at the trench and the enemy had retreated. Our crew was drained, exhausted. I was too. Maybe that's why I can't say for certain the events precipitating what happened. They were looking at the battle field, at the blood and I saw it... That look, I'll never forget it. It passed between them and when they faced us, I knew. There was nothing I could say. Their minds were made up. When Inara lifted her hands. Well, I did what I had to.

"You need a partner to graduate, son." Thias continued looking at Rynden and sensing his hesitation."She is a viable option. The only option."

"I've always done as you asked Sir," Rynden said softly, he never called Thias his father in these meetings. Here he was a soldier in front of a general. "I will do what I can, but if she refuses... what then?" He dreaded the answer.

He could admit to himself that he had loved Vehya, she's been his rock, the closest person to his heart. Hurting her, slowly tearing himself from her, was agony. It couldn't be just a clean rip, his father had told him. Instead he'd chosen the moments to shun her carefully, hating himself every time. He told himself afterwards it was to protect her. She couldn't be in the world of sorcery, it was too dangerous and so she could never be in his world.

Charlie knew none of it and with each step away from Vehya, he could see his brother growing more confused. A rift formed between them over the years, and there was no way to fix it. Not without being selfish.

"Don't concern yourself with that Rynden." Thias stood and he ran a hand down his own red sash where it hung on display. "I do not believe Vehya is as brash as her parents. She spent enough time in this house to learn some discipline."

Rynden's jaw clenched. I hate him. The thought left him simmering inside.

To the outside world, the Palfer family was perfect and Thias seemed to not notice how badly he'd ruined his eldest son. Despite everything, Rynden would not defy his father. Not as long as he could see the cold reasoning behind his actions. A war was coming and they would be recruiting magi to defend their homelands from old enemies. His guilt over lying to someone he cared about was not important.

I will do what I have to.

Rynden said the words over and over as he pressed his forehead into the cold stone of the Sorcery building, each time they seemed to crumble more. Vee. He desperately wanted her to be angry with him, he could take her fury, but not her kindness... he didn't deserve that. Her red eyes had looked exactly the same as when he'd started pushing her away all those years ago; lost, unsure.

Voices from the top of the barracks forced Rynden to control his breathing. He was starting to slip into a dangerous place and he was terrified that he'd had to cut off the only people who could bring him back from the edge.

"Well, look who it is lads." Rynden lifted his gaze and gave Julius a flat stare. "We didn't see you at training on Friday, Palfer." They came down the external stone staircase and surrounded him. "Off on one of your own personal trials again? Gallivanting around the city?"

Julius had three other younger men with him, but Rynden couldn't think of their names; his head was pounding and trying to hold on to his thoughts was like trying to catch fish with swollen hands. "Why do you care Julius?"

The men glanced at each other. "Are they paying you?" So that's what this boils down to? Money.

"No." He'd only been on three trials in the past year, despite what the others might say. Most of the time he was at home or with his father's men in meetings. Or speaking with Lint Barngrend about their greater task.

Julius rubbed his arms and sniffed. He brushed his friends off and pulled Rynden by his shirt. "Look Palfer, about last week... I- I sorry for what I said about your brother."

Nothing else? "I don't need an apology, Julius. Maybe go speak with Harpet. It was his face you smashed."

"I just mean-" Julius pulled on Rynden shirt again and Ryn gave him a warning look. "Solitary was crap, right?"

"You spent two days in your room. Don't try to compare our experiences." Rynden said coldly. The other man nodded and Ryn sighed. "What do you want?"

"I said some stuff, it will probably be released in the papers today. Barngrend got to most of them and had them change the story slightly but..." He looked at Rynden and there was remorse in his sharp features. "Well.. I just wanted you to know I did try to get them to cut my part in it."

Julius left Rynden awkwardly. Ryn leaned against the wall and started up at the sky. He wanted to scream, wanted to pretend it was all fine. He wanted to go to class like his peers, enjoy his education, socialise with his friends. He wanted to fix his messed up relationship with his brother and figure out whatever was going on in regards to Vehya. He wanted to experience the sensations of light-headedness and excitement he felt around her without the immediate slap of dread and shame whenever she smiled at him.

The papers circled around Asla quickly that day and Ryn knew he had to say something to Vehya. He had to face her on this eventually. Even if lying to her was slowly driving him deeper into self loathing.

I will do what I have to.