To Be Alone (Angst)

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Pairing: 40s!Bucky Barnes x Rogers!Reader

Summary: The times you learn your husband has been drafted, your brother has enlisted in the army and that your husband suffers a terrible fate.

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: Mentions of death and angst, angst, angst.

1942

Closing your eyes, you leaned against the kitchen counter, losing yourself to the music that was playing from the radio in the corner of the room. Outside your open window you heard the laughter of the building's children playing tag on the street below.

The sound of the oven beeping snapped you out of your thoughts, and you rushed to the appliance with a towel in your hand, pulling out the hot pan from the oven. Placing it down on the kitchen table, you turned around and caught the sight of your husband for the first time that afternoon.

"Jesus!" You jumped, throwing the towel down on the table. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

Rather than the usual laugh and teasing smirk from your husband's lips, he looked up at you somberly, an open letter in his hand.

Beginning to feel your heart race in your chest, you slowly made your way around the table.

"Buck," You said his name ever so softly. "What's that?"

Standing in front of you, he shook his head.

"Y/n-"

Glancing up at him, eyes wide, you looked back at the letter, snatching it from his hands and flipping it around to read it with your own eyes.

As soon as you did you felt your heart sink to your stomach and your breath catch in your throat. Lifting your hand up to cover your mouth, you shook your head.

"You can't go." You said, shaking your head. "I'm not letting you go."

Resting his hands on your shoulders, he shook his head.

"I have to go, doll." He sighed, daring himself to chuckle. "I don't think the army gives a pass for pissed off wives."

Shrugging his hands off of your shoulders, you pulled out one of the seats from your kitchen table, falling down into it. Crumbling the paper in your hand, you stared up at your husband.

"Stop joking around, Buck." You lectured. "This isn't funny. You could die."

Looking down at you, he had never seen you so distraught and he felt his heart tug in his chest at the sight. Pulling out the chair beside you, he plopped himself down into it and leaning forward he cupped your face in his hands.

"I know. I'm sorry, doll." He whispered, brushing his thumbs against your cheeks. "But there's nothing I can do about it. You and I both knew this was coming at some point."

It was true.

You and Bucky had known that this day would come. He was perfectly healthy and young and with a war going on, there was only a matter of time until he was pulled into it- either by his own choice or not. You had discussed it plenty of times, but you had just wished you had more time.

Blinking away the tears that were in your eyes, you moved your hands up to your cheeks to hold Bucky's, nodding.

"I know." You sighed. "I just can't lose you, Buck."

"Y/n, on the day I asked Steve to marry you I told him I was gonna be haunting your ass even after I was gone." Bucky chuckled. "You can't get rid of me that easily. What's one war?"

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