Dear Jake,
I cannot even explain why I am writing to you. I think I am insane or maybe it is just a crush. Maybe it is just that I am both insane and have a crush. I don't know. I just know that I have to write to you...at least without giving them to you. I would not be able to bear your reaction regardless of how you react. It wouldn't matter if you smiled, laughed, rolled your eyes, or insulted me, my brain would still find a way to convince me that I am not good enough and none of what happened was real.
I cannot will myself to speak to you in person. When I decide to make an effort on trying, I end up locking my jaw tight and sealing my lips shut. There is no hope for me speaking to you in that case. I couldn't even speak to you from day 1.
The first week of the school year, I slipped and fell in the parking lot on my butt on the hard asphalt. You rushed over immediately and helped me up, asking me if I was okay.
I was okay.
I was okay, because that was the first time someone cared enough about my safety to lend me a hand. No one has ever done that for me. At that moment, I nodded my head not because I felt like I needed to, but because it was the truth. I still couldn't speak to you even then. I could only nod my head. You then smiled really big and told me "I'll see you around". Your smile lit up the darkest corners of my mind at that moment and your light blue eyes reflected out of them, a smile of my own. I have never been able to smile that way.
No series of unfortunate events have occurred to me like have happened to some with my "demeanor", but instead my peculiar mind always tended towards melancholy. I can't help it. It just is. I don't try to explain because no one would understand. No one understands why someone with so much to live for could be depressed.
Perhaps you are laughing at my ridiculousness right now (if you were reading this). Perhaps I have an attachment problem (I think you would laugh at that one too in agreement). I just know that I needed that that day. I just needed a little bit of something to live for no matter how small or minuscule it was....but, honestly, it was so small thing. I am sure though that you think it was and now no longer have space for that memory in your brain.
I wish you would remember me.
Sincerely,
Ella
BINABASA MO ANG
Class Notes
Short Story"Jake, I need someone to talk to about this, but I can't use my words. I can't even talk about this to my family nevermind you. You don't even know me. I wish you knew me. But I fear that if you did...,it would destroy m...
