No Better Version of Me Than When I'm With You

Chapter 8

Chapter Summary: Newt and Nick have a conversation. Thomas is a little bit too impulsive.

A/N: Warnings for depression/attempted suicide mention.
All aboard the angst train, everyone. Y'all got your tissues ready?

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"I know we've talked about this before, but it bears repeating." Nick said, snagging a chip off of Newt's plate. They were out for dinner at a burger place just down the street from Nick's apartment. He was feeling relaxed, it was a Friday night and he had no other weekend plans other than to lounge around at home and maybe try to salvage some of the garden. When Nick had called asking if he wanted to go out, he agreed easily.

"What does?"

"The fact that you and Thomas are literally married." Nick's tone was light, but Newt felt the tension underlying it. He opened his mouth to reply, but Nick continued. "And I know that in itself is fine, whatever, but. . . it's like you're seducing each other and it's weird. I feel like a third wheel sometimes, even though I'm almost never around you when Thomas is there too."

"It's not like that and you know it." Newt replied. "I've told you why we got married, and that we had to make it look real, remember? I wouldn't still be able to live here and work here if we hadn't."

"I know, but you got your green card and the process of the government being all up in your private life is over now. You can stop pretending so hard." Nick chuckled, but he looked almost hurt - as if he was worried they weren't pretending.

"He's my best friend, too, y'know. And it's mutually beneficial anyway - Tommy gets a break in his taxes and I get my permanent residency." Newt shrugged, taking the last bite of his burger.

"Okay sure, but what if. . .I don't know, what if you wanted to marry someone else someday? Wouldn't you guys have to divorce then?"

"In order to keep my green card and keep living here, we can't divorce for another few years, at least. So whoever I end up with," Newt shot a small smile at Nick, "will just have to live with it, I guess. It's not like it's really affecting anything right now though, is it?"

Nick hesitated before he answered, shaking his head slightly. "Not really, but. . ." He then chuckled wryly. "And to think you guys actually pulled the wool over the government's eyes about the fact you're supposedly not in love?"

"What d'you mean supposedly?" Newt asked, hearing the suspicion in Nick's voice and bristling.

"I just mean that it weirds me out a bit, is all."

"There's only so much I can say to reassure you, Nick. I like you. Thomas is. . ." He cast around for the right word, "He's like my platonic soulmate. You hear me? Platonic." He reached across the table, threading his fingers between Nick's and squeezing.

"Alright, alright, I believe you." Nick groused, still sounding unconvinced but willing to let it go for the time being. "But since we're on the subject, what's his problem with me? He doesn't seem to like me very much."

Newt sighed, shaking his head, "It's not that he doesn't like you, it's that he's wary of you still, I think."

"Bit protective, isn't he?"

Newt fought down a smile, "A bit." There was a brief silence, then Newt shook his head, "But enough about him and that whole thing. I'm here to spend time with you, my boyfriend." He saw Nick's expression relax, and leaned in to catch his gaze, still holding his hand. He didn't want their night to end in yet another argument about him and his marriage, he just wanted to enjoy his company, have dinner together, spend the night together back at Nick's place - was that too much to ask?