𝐂𝐑𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘| Eli Moskowitz

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙀𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙮-𝙀𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

She looked down. "No."

"Okay, that's fine." she nodded. "Can you at least tell me why you're so angry?"

Alaska shrugged. "Because of my choices."

"Which choices?" she pushed her on, Alaska didn't want to talk. "Tell me about the first time you felt the most angry."

Alaska leaned back on the couch. "This girl put on my karate website that i'd been using drugs. It got me kicked off the team and everyone knew."

"How'd you handle that anger?" Mrs.Glaw nodded, twisting her pin.

"I beat her up in a school fight." she shrugged in return. "Like...really bad."

"Is that the only time you've been that angry?" she asked her.

"No." Alaska admitted. "My boyfriend broke our best friends arm. I felt a lot of anger then too."

"How'd you handle it that time?" she nodded, trying to find a pattern.

"I tried to relapse, but I was stopped and then I just cried for a few weeks." she shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't wanna hurt him."

"Why not?" Mrs.Glaw nodded.

"Because I love him. I don't love Yasmine." Alaska met her eye. "I don't understand why I have to tell you all the times i've been angry."

"You don't have to do anything, we're just talking." she gave her a little smile. "Any other times?"

Alaska inhaled. "A couple people really hurt my boyfriend a few months ago. I was the most angry then."

"And what'd you do?" she asked her, writing it down.

"I went a little nuts." Alaska had to laugh slightly. "I broke both my hands."

"So, that was a lot of anger then." she nodded as Alaska did the same. "Have you ever felt that much before?"

"No, never that much." the Lee Girl nodded her head. "But, now I feel like i'm angry like that all the time."

"Do you think that caused you to see what you were truly capable of?" Mrs.Glaw asked. Alaska didn't say anything. "What are some things you find yourself getting angry about now?"

"Everyone. It's like everyone I talk to, I remember something they've done and it pisses me off." she had to point out as she stared at her. "But, it's mainly my closest friends. The people I love the most. I can ignore the old anger for people that i'm just friends with, not best friends."

"How many is there?" she asked her curiosity.

"Three." Alaska chewed on the inside of her mouth. "Eli, Demetri, and Miguel. I got into a fight with one of them last night, and ever since then i've thought about things they've all done that has pissed me off so bad."

"Can you name a few things that you've been thinking about?" Mrs.Glaw suggested as Alaska exhaled, crossing her legs and looking up. Her voice was so gentle, she was so calm and easily liked that it was hard to imagine so much anger going on in her head.

"My best friend, Demetri, use to date this girl that bullied me my entire life. She did really bad things to me, and he dated her anyways." Alaska shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't think about it at the time, but now i'm just really mad about it."

"Of course." Mrs.Glaw nodded. "And what about the others?"

"Miguel." Alaska popped the rubber band around her elbow. "He left me here and I'm really mad because I felt like relapsing so many times since he was gone. And now, even though we're fighting, knowing he'll run to me if I have a flair up makes it easier. That reason isn't really that fair, I guess."

Mrs.Glaw looked up when's he didn't go on. "You said three. You're missing one. Eli."

Alaska was quiet, a since of panic was in her eyes. Mrs.Glaw blinked as her. "What has he done that's made you the angriest?"

Alaska exhaled as she shrugged. "He was kinda friends with this guy. Like, they weren't best friends, but they hung out and were together all the time."

"And why does that upset you?" she stared at her, letting Alaska know she had her entire attention.

She was quiet for what felt like a century. "This boy....a few years ago made me do something I didn't want to do. Afterwards, I was really upset but Eli was there to help me through it. And seeing him hang out with this guy just hurt me."

"You said made you do something." Mrs.Glaw feared the worst when she asked. "Do you wanna tell me what he did?"

Alaska stared at her with a shrug. "He made me go down on him once. It didn't last long, because my teeth got in the way."

"Alaksa, honey." she shut her notebook and leaned forward some. "Does anyone know about this?"

"A few of my friends." she shrugged with a questionable look. "What? He's not my problem."

"Sexual Assault is something that is serious." Mrs.Glaw stared right into her eyes. "Do you think this, what happened years ago, could be something that causes you so much anger now?"

"He didn't- I wasn't sexually assaulted." Alaska gave her an odd look. "I wasn't raped."

"Rape isn't the only thing that equals to sexual assault, sweetie. Anything sexual against your will is considering assault." she shook her head gentle, she could see the immediate panic in her eyes. "What else do you want to tell me about this?"

She was quiet, shaking her head side to side. "It isn't a big deal. It's not."

"It is." Mrs.Glaw corrected her. "I want to ask you something. If that hadn't happened...do you think you'd be as angry as you are now?"

"Yes. Yes. Karate is what made me angry." she exhaled. Alaska stood
up, she felt hot and closed in. "Karate taught me how to be angry. That's not...Kyler has nothing to do with it."

"What made you join karate?" Mrs.Glaws words made her pause, fall completely still as her back was to her. "Did you want to defend yourself incase something like that happened again?"

Alaska sat there, she just sat there. "He told everyone, and they bullied me for it. I just wanted to defend myself."

It all lead back to what Kyler did, she just didn't have any knowledge of it. She didn't even know that it was considered sexual assault, she didn't know any of it until right now. She grabbed her bag. "I have to go."

"Alaska! Sweetie, come-" Mrs.Glaw walked out as Alaska hurried to the door.

"Al?" Zane looked up from the waiting room. "Hey."

But, she was hurrying, hurrying out of the office. She was panicking, letting the facts on the matter set in as she finally grasp onto what had happened. Most of all, she thought of a rumor. First, the rumor about her using too much teeth spread. Then, not too long after, Kyler lied about getting sexual with Sam at a theater. Alaska knew that if what happened to her lead to Kyler spreading an untrue rumor, there was a chance that the same thing happened to Sam. And she wasn't about to let it get pushed aside like it was no big deal like she'd let her own assault do this entire time.

•

kylie speaks

this is a sexual assault
hotline number for you
or anyone you know to
call is you've experienced
sexual assault. remember
that what you have been
through is not any less of
an assault as one's who have
had it worse. you're valid
and you deserve to be treated
with care regardless.
1-800-656-4673