Eret's Cousin (Phil's Kid universe)

Ch-16-Question-?

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We ate dinner in the living room to watch a movie. We moved the air mattress from behind the couch to in front of it. I said we-but Eret just moved it by himself. Now we could watch the movie on the air mattress. The LGBT movie was called 'The Half of It'.

"You sure you won't fall asleep?" Eret asked me. "Yeah I'm fine, I went to bed early last night. Are you sure you won't fall asleep?" I asked raising my eyebrows. "I definitely won't." Eret shook their head.

. . .

The movie was interesting. I tried to focus on the movie but was too busy in my own head. I kept trying to think of how to ask Eret the question. It would be a weird question since I already knew the answer, but it would be a good conversation started, I hope.

"You still awake?" Eret asked turning down the volume for the credits of the movie. "Of course I am." I said snapping out of my head. "This is your dream after all." I smiled at Eret. "Yeah sure." They rustled my hair.

It was quiet while we started gathering some bowls and garbage from around us. "Eret?" I asked. "Hmm?" Eret asked picking up another can and putting it in a bowl. "Question." I said placing the bowl down next to me. "Yeah?" Eret turned to me.

I watched as Eret placed the bowl down next to them and looked at me, waiting for me to ask a question. I looked around and found a stray napkin on the floor. I reached my arm over and placed it in the bowl next to me with the other garbage I had collected. Then I started picking popcorn kernels from the air mattress and putting them in the bowl.

"You had a question?" Eret asked me. I stopped picking up the crumbs and placed my hands under my thighs sitting on them. "Yeah." I said looking forward and watching the credits continue to roll for the movie that ended.

I took my hands out from under my legs and placed them in my lap, I started scratching my legs. "How did you know?" I said.

After a bit of silence, Eret answered knowing that I wouldn't continue for a while. "Know what?" I glanced at Eret then looked back at the tv screen. "How did you know?" I repeated.

After another short moment of silence, I spoke again. "How did you know you were bi?" I mumbled quietly, reading the names that scrolled up on the tv. I glanced at Eret keeping my head forward. Eret smiled softly at me, so I looked back at the screen.

"Well I liked girls, then I realized I liked guys, so I thought I was gay." Eret started telling me the story again, so I turned my head towards them to listen and watch. "But then I realized I also still liked girls. And one day I remembered, hey isn't there a word for liking girls and guys? Oh yeah, bisexual. Boom!" Eret made a first then quickly opened it when they said 'boom!'.

I smiled at that. "Cool." I wanted to say something more, but I did find it cool, I always did, 'cool' was the first thing that came to mind so that's what I said. "But what if I don't know?" I asked nervously. I was basically outing myself by asking that.

"Then you don't know." Eret sat next to me. "It's not like I knew right away too. You kind of have to figure out who you like on your own." Eret gave me a soft measuring smile. "And don't use those online quizzes, they just make you question even more." I chuckled with Eret at that. "I think I know not to use the online quizzes."

Eret placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked at their hand and then at their soft smile. "You can also ask me for help to talk through it or figure things out. Or we can talk about anything." "Thanks." I said. I felt the edge of my eyes sting.

Eret moved their hand from my shoulder to my other shoulder. Then pulled me into a side hug. They wrapped their other arm around me. I fell sideways onto Eret's side. I wrapped my arms around their torso.

"I missed you. I don't want the weekend to end. I haven't seen you in so long." I said feeling sad. "I know, and I'm sorry about that." Eret also said sadly, rubbing my back. "It's not your fault, it's hers." Tears poked the edge of my eyes thinking of her reaction to Eret's coming out. "It's ok, if anything happens you know where I live, and I know where you live." Eret reassured me rubbing circles on my back.

"I know you are scared of what she will say, and her reaction." Eret pushed me back a bit and looked me in the eyes, seeing the tears starting to drip out of my eyes. "But there are people that will accept you for who you are." Eret pulled me back in for a tighter hug. "I know, thank you."

"Even if Lindsey isn't physically with you right now, I know she is there for you." Eret read my mind. "So much is going on, you don't deserve it." Eret sounded sad now too.

"She hasn't in a while." I said quietly. "She should never." Eret spoke quickly after I did.

We sat quietly hugging each other. I held back my loud sobs, but let out some quiet ones. I tried to hold back my tears to but failed. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks as I remembered past events. Eret kept rubbing my back and reassuring me that they were here now. But they weren't there back then, and I could never forget those bad memories.

. . .