murky waters | carl grimes¹

19. terminus

"You- you understand what he was gunna do?" Daryl asked me, his eyes searched for any emotion to appear on my face. 

I understood. I understood too well. I nodded, an adult man's dirty actions weren't new to me. My best friend's father used to do the same thing to her and I was the only person to know about it. The night I stayed over he did exactly what he had been doing to her to me, when I got away I  locked myself in the bathroom and called my dad. Despite everything he did to her, my best friend and I cried when the police took him away. 

They moved away and we never spoke to each other again.

"It's not the first time," I choked out, the memory is something I had suppressed and as it reentered my mind I pictured Billy's face. 

Daryl looked away from me and let lean back into the tree. I had so many emotions running through my head that I knew I just had to shut out. When I could finally catch my breath, I looked over at Daryl, he was staring at the ground. 

"Let's go," I mumbled, pushing myself off of the tree. 

I couldn't allow these thoughts to eat at me, I had suppressed them once before, I could do it again. 

I had to. 

Rick had us climb the fence the fence, it was too risky to go through the front, we wanted to surprise them. As Daryl opened the door an lady's voice read, "Terminus, those who arrive, survive," she continued, she was making an announcement of some sort. We all had our guns drawn, ready to fire if Rick instructed us to. 

There was a room full of people, a white haired lady read into a microphone while the others worked on maps and signs. I didn't get much time to take in the room because Rick walked forward, "hello," he announced our presents to them. 

The people in the room seemed shocked but none of them tried to shoot at us, "well I bet Albert is on perimeter watch," a man said, he lightly threw down his marker. He walked towards us, "you here to rob us?" he asked, our way of entering didn't seem like the friendliest way to introduce ourselves. 

"No," Rick answered, "we wanted to see you before you saw us," Rick explained as he walked towards the man. He stopped, still far from the man. 

"Makes sense. Usually we do this were the tracks meet," the man said, he now walked towards us, he threw up arms in the air and cleared his throat, "welcome to Terminus," he grinned, "I'm Gareth." He took his time looking at all of us, "looks like you've been on the road for a good bit."

"We have. Rick, that's Carl, Daryl, Michonne, Lennox," Rick introduced us, we stood naked in front of the people of Terminus. I felt out of place, I had Billy's blood still caked on my hands and face, along with dirt and sweat. Meanwhile Gareth and his crew were washed up, fresh clothes, clean skin, almost like everyone did back at the prison. Gareth gave us a silent wave. 

"You're nervous. I get it," Gareth started, he walked as he talked, he was trying to make us loosen up but I kept a tight grip on my gun. "We were all the same way," he said, raising his head to the people behind him, "we came here for sanctuary. That's what you're here for?" he asked, he was a lot closer to us. 

Rick gave him a simple yes. 

"Before we go farther, we got to check out your weapons. I am sure you understand," He said nodding towards Rick. There was a silent agreement between them that they were both in charge. Rick was our leader, Gareth was theirs.

"We do," Rick said, looking over at us, he nodded, telling us to place our weapons in front of us. I grabbed my gun other gun from my holster and eyed the people up. There weren't many here, we'd had the disadvantage if something went wrong. Before I put my weapons down, I watched Daryl lay his crossbow down. I was the last to drop my gun, staring at Gareth as I did it.