Circles - Post Malone

Forty Two

So this is their life now and Dahlia is content. If nothing changes she won't complain. But she knows that's a pipe dream. She remembers her mother used to sit on the front steps of their trailer and ask Dahlia to tell her what she was going to be when she grew up. What were her dreams, her hopes, her desires? Dahlia would tell her - it did not matter how many times Dahlia told her she would get excited and tell Dahlia that she was going to be amazing at whatever she chose to be in life.

She lets her eyes dart around the New York flat, she thinks her mother would be happy about where she is today. Maybe not too happy about the tiny black leather skirt she has to wear for work - but with everything else? She would be proud of her. Dahlia turns onto her side so she is facing Austin. He is still sleeping. He manages to look handsome even when he sleeps. His unruly  hair gives the only indication that he's 
been sleeping. Dahlia can't help the smile that creeps on her face. She remembers the first time she had seen Austin at school. Her stomach had done flip-flops and had continued to flip-flop all day. She stared at him every second she got. It was borderline psychotic. She had only been 13 years old, as had Austin. She had been so young but she knew she was in love with him. 

As soon as the school bell had rung she had run all the way home. Her mother had been waiting for her and wanted to know everything about her first day at high school. All Dahlia could talk about was Austin. She told her mother about how handsome he was, how funny he was, and that he was already a little taller than her. She told her of how when he laughed it gave her butterflies in her stomach. She told her mother that she was hopelessly in love with him. Her mother had laughed and wrapped her arms around her, "one of my favorite things about you Dahlia is that you wear your heart on your sleeve. It's a beautiful thing," she had said. From then until the day she died she had always made sure to ask Dahlia how Austin was. Even on those days that Dahia's stupid crush on him had weighed her down and she let herself cry over it. Her mother never told her to get over him or her silly crush. No, her mother had just loved her the way she was.

She runs a finger over Austin's soft cheek. She wonders what her mother would say about the predicament she has found herself in now with Austin. She has him in her grasp but she can't keep him, he falls like sand through her fingers. She wishes her mom was around just so she could sit on those front steps again and have her mother tell her that it's all ok...that everything will be ok. Austin stirs from her touch and she watches as his eyes flutter open. His blue eyes look electric when they open and look at her.

"Mornin', baby. Why are you staring at me like a psychopath?"

"Thinking of ways to kill you in your sleep. Want to be humane about it."

"You give me butterflies when you say romantic shit like that."

Dahlia lets out a laugh then squarks when Austin digs his fingers into her side. "Fuck off, Austin," she says managing to break free and clamper out of the bed. "Get dressed, I am late for work," she says. They shower and dress then head down to Sweet and Sour.

Ronny, the twins, Harry, Gina, and Gina's new 'friend' Tom are all waiting for her to open up. "What the hell, Dahlia!" Ronny complains - his hands shaking from lack of alcohol. Dahlia ignores him and unlocks the door letting them all file in. The twins and Austin settle in the corner of the bar, they apparently have a big meeting. "Three coffees please," Paris asks. "This is not a coffee shop nor is it your office. If you want coffee go across the street," Dahlia snips. Orlando sighs and gets off his chair. "Fine," he says. "Oh get for me and Tom too please," Gina says as she sits down at the bar with Tom. "Anyone else?" he says to the room. Harry raises his hand and Orlando nods his acknowledgment.  "Don't forget, Dahlia," Austin pipes up. "Like anyone could," Orlando says and turns to leave.

"How about you, Ronny? What about something other than beer today?" Dahlia asks already filling a beer glass for him, she knows his answer already. "No, I will just stick to what I know thanks," he says taking the beer from Dahlia and taking two big sips. He stops shaking almost immediately. "Dahlia, there is a reason I brought Tom here today," Gina says. "Why? Early morning sex in the back alley?" Dahlia says. "No, we already did that," Gina answers like Dahlia had not just insulted her. Austin, Ronny, and Harry all groan in annoyance, and Paris gives a now red-faced Tom a fist bump.

"Tom is a politician," Gina says with a lot of excitement. "Well not quite yet, but I am working on the campaign of the new mayor," Tom adds.  Dahlia nods and gives Tom her best fake smile. "Well ain't that just dandy...still not an answer as to why you have brought him here this morning, Gina," she says.

"Well he needs to do a survey for the campaign and I thought it would be a great idea for him to hear from the people directly. Then he could take that information back to the Mayor and they can make some real changes. I gave him my viewpoint on world hunger this morning,"  Gina says. "What is the mayor of New York going to do about world hunger?" Dahlia deadpans. "The mayor cares about problems all over the world," Tim says proudly. "You know what the mayor should care about are those crocodiles that live in the water pipes under the city," Harry says. Paris nods his head, "agreed! I heard they carry diseases and make people sick!" he says. "Yip, they come up through the toilets at night. My cousin's aunt's best friend's boyfriend once found a mother and three babies in his bathtub," Ronny says. Gina gasps, "I am never sitting on a toilet again," she says. "There are no crocodiles under the city. That's a myth," Tom says. "Tell that to Ronny's cousin's aunt's best friend's boyfriend," Austin says with a laugh.

Tom looks like he might cry a little. "Ok, that's enough. Do your stupid questionnaire, Tom," Dahlia says. Tom smiles then pulls out a booklet from his bag and places it in front of him just as Orlando comes back in with the coffee. Thank fuck for that. Tom clears his throat.

"Ok first question. Name your something that makes living in New York unnecessarily hard?"

Everyone starts talking at once and Tom starts writing their answers furiously. It's fucking pandemonium. Dahlia takes her coffee and leans back on the bar watching her idiot friends and Tom. She can feel Austin's eyes on her and when she flicks her eyes to him he is looking at her with a grin while he sips his coffee. Dahlia pulls a face at him and then he indicates with his head for her to go outside. Everyone is so busy with Tom that they don't even notice Dahlia and Austin slipping away.

In the back alley, Dahlia looks Austin up and down. "What have you summoned me here for?"  she asks lighting a cigarette.  "I just wanted to say goodbye. I have that meeting today with that agent," he says. Oh shit. she had forgotten. This is a big deal for him the agent was talking about a record deal. This was massive. Dahlia snubs her cigarette out and moves into Austin's already stretched-out arms. "I am sorry I forgot," she says. She feels a little guilty, this is all he has been talking about for weeks. "You come straight back and tell me how it went, ok," she says.

"Careful there, Dahlia, you are starting to sound more like a girlfriend than a casual fling," he says then leans down and kisses her.