I Love You, Sir

Chapter 24: Car [R18]

WARNING: Mature Content I R-18 I Slight SPG

Not suitable for young readers. Read at your own risk!

I'm too hurt to respond, so I let my tears flow like I've been holding them in for a long time. Kerleigh closes the gap between us and embraces me, causing me to lose control of all the emotions I'd been suppressing. I was crying silently on his chest, wetting his t-shirt. The room where we were was deafeningly quiet. He continued to caress my back gently with his warm hands, intending to calm me.

"Hindi ko alam." Mas lalong humigpit ang yakap niya. "I'm so sorry," halos hindi ko na marinig yung sinabi niya dahil sa sobrang hina ng pagkakasabi. 

Wala sa plano ko ang sabihin sa kanya na sinadyang ipalaglag ni Mommy yung anak namin dahil baka magalit siya kay Mommy. Tutal tapos na naman, nangyari na, kailangan nalang namin tanggapin.

Unti-unting gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. After letting out those tears, I feel alive again. I just realized he's hugging me right now. Hindi ako gumalaw o tinulak siya nung niyakap niya ako. I just let him again. I think I need him. I'm looking for his comfort. After years of being madly in love with him. I am still right now. I could feel the chain and doors that had been keeping my heart locked for years slowly breaking and trying to open to the man I still loved back then. I still haven't moved on.

I moved my arms slowly and hugged him back. Ang isang kamay niya ay nasa likuran ng ulo ko para hawakan iyon at isiksik lalo sa dibdib niya.

Now, I have the confidence to speak up. "I'm so sorry. I've had a miscarriage. Hindi ako naging mainga-"

"No. It's not your fault. Huwag mong sisihin ang sarili mo. Kasalanan ko lahat ng iyon," dismayado niyang sabi.

"Galit ka ba sa'kin?" Hinawakan niya yung pisngi ko para iangat iyon. Malungkot siyang ngumiti at pinunasan ang pisngi ko ng mga bakas ng luhang umagos mula sa aking mga mata.

"Everything happens for a reason. Baka hindi pa para sa atin 'yon. Please do not blame yourself. It is all my fault. And to answer your question, hindi ako galit sayo," he said, kissing the top of my head.

I caught his jaw clenched, suppressing his emotion. "Galit ako sa sarili ko dahil sa mga ginawa ko."

"Mahal mo na ba ako?" I feel like I insulted myself by asking him that question. Parang pinapamukha ko lang sa sarili ko pinipilit ko lang siya. 

He confessed at me. Kung hindi niya ako mahal, why I always caught him staring at me? Why does he keep approaching me? Why does he continue to explain and apologize? Kung hindi niya ako mahal, he will never admit that he loved me and cried after being kissed by Toffie.

"I never stopped loving you..." he whispered softly into my ear. It gives me goosebumps. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko kung dapat ba akong kiligin, magulat at magtaka kung ano yung tinutukoy niya. Isa lang ang tanging alam ko. Masaya ako.

"What took you so long, then?" I asked softly.