So What?

40: Coup de grâce.

Walking back to the apartment, I cross the street and I see Miles standing by the door of my apartment building.

"Jasmine." He says as soon as he spots me walking in his direction.

"Um...hi." I say, my stuffy nose making my tone nasally.

"You don't look so good." He tells me and I shrug.

"I just have a cold. All the boxes in my room have literally made my nose stuffy." I lie.

"Well, it's a good thing you're going away." He says and I raise an eyebrow at him in confusion.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask him.

"Trevor is pressing charges against you, Jaz. He had video evidence of you driving in and out of his property around the same time he claims that he was attacked and had his genitals cut off." Miles says and I gasp.

"He had his genitals cut off?" I ask, pretending to be shocked.

"I know it was you, J." He tells me and I smile at him.

"Worth a shot." I say, shrugging.

"I just wanted to give you a heads up. They could be on your tail soon." He tells me.

"Thanks." I tell him.

"So..." He says, trailing off.

I lean close to him and I kiss him. This obviously catches him off guard as he stiffens. He relaxes and kisses me back. Pulling away after the kiss, I let out a shaky breath and stare at him.

"Goodbye, Miles." I tell him before I walk into my apartment building.

***

"As if." I say, laughing.

"Yes. You'd be the first to run when the aliens come." Christopher tells me tossing a pillow at me.

I'm currently at his apartment. I had to spend some time with him before I head to Italy tomorrow. This might be the last time I'm ever in this country, so I have to tie all loose ends.

"So, you're going off to become a Van Gogh." He tells me and I stare at him.

"I'm not Van Gogh." I retort. "I just want to give this painting thing a shot.

"You'd be dumb not to." He says, moving my hair out of my face.

"It's time I take a chance on myself. And you can always come visit." I tell him.

"I'd like that." He says, wetting his bottom lip with his tongue.

"Promise me, you'll take care of Barbie." I tell him.

"I promise." He replies.

"Mean it, Chris." I quip.

"I do." He tells me. "Scouts honor." He adds.

I throw my body at him and envelope him in a tight hug. His scent fills my nostrils immediately and I start to cry.

"Are you okay back there?" He asks me and I nod before I pull away.

"I'm just gonna miss you, that's all." I tell him, wiping my eyes with the back of my palm.

"I'm a telephone call and flight away." He reminds me.

"I know that." I say, sniffling.

"Then stop crying." He chuckles. He stares at the clock behind me and picks up his keys.

"We've gotta get you back home. Your mother will be worried." He tells me and I roll my eyes.

"You know sooner rather than later, you're gonna have to talk to her." He tells me.

"I pick later." I reply.

"You can't hate her forever, Jaz." He tells me and I suck my teeth.

"Yes, I can. Now, get me home." I say, standing up from his comfortable pink sofa.

We get to my house in twenty minutes and I say goodbye to Christopher. Entering my apartment, I turn on the light in the hallway. I place my coat on the hanger and head for the kitchen.

Grabbing bottled water out of the freezer, I turn around and see my mother.

"Jesus Christ, Mom. You scared the shit out of me." I say, startled.

"You're back." She says in a low tone. Her voice is croaky, it seems she's been crying.

"Obviously." I say, rudely.

"You don't have to give me that nasty attitude, I'm still your mom, Jasmine." She tells me and I laugh.

"That doesn't excuse the unforgivable thing that you have done." I tell her.

"You're one to talk. You were a stripper and sugar baby. If you had just been a normal teenage girl, none of this would have happened." She tells me.

"If only you were comfortable with the mundane life I gave you and didn't go out in search of more, then maybe you wouldn't have met Richard." She continues and I stare at her stunned.

"Me? You wanna blame me, Mom?" I ask her, walking towards her. She is standing on the other side of the island.

"You're the one who cheated on your boyfriend because you wanted more. You wanted to eat your cake and have it. So bad, that when you found out you were pregnant for another man, you lied and carried on anyway." I yell at her.

"Don't preach to me about wanting more, when you're the prime example of what greed looks like." I tell her and I see tears well up in her eyes.

"You deserve to cry, Mom." I say, trying to prevent my own tears from spilling.

"I messed up and I know that. But you can't hold that over my head forever." She tells me.

"Yes, I can." I reply.

"You're leaving Los Angeles tomorrow and you didn't even tell me. I had to find out from your dad." She tells me.

"Which one?" I ask her.

"Don't be like that. We've all made mistakes and now we have to figure out a way to move forward." She tells me.

"You can do that shit on your own. Because I sure as hell won't be here to do that with you. The house is paid for by Richard so you can live here as long as you want. Don't try to contact me. Ever. From this moment on, I am an orphan. I have no parents." I tell her before I walk out of the kitchen.

Storming into my room, I stalk towards my bed and I sit on the edge crying into my palms.

I hate how tragic life can get in a matter of days. But most importantly, I hate the after effect said tragedy, leaves in its wake.

A simple lie told eighteen years ago. Has ruined four lives. Richard's, my mum's, my "dad's" and even worse, mine.

I would have never dreamed that this nightmare in the flesh would be called my life, but I guess I'll have to see where this hellish road leads.

Come tomorrow morning, I will be rolling my suitcase down baggage claim and saying goodbye to a life I wouldn't wish anyone to live.