Why am I afraid? | Seongjoong

Chapter XV : The Party (Part. 1)

~Seonghwa~

"Come on Omma! You have to go out. Have some fun with the rest of us. It's the last party before the holidays end! You can't stay here and getting all fed up because of a guy all day long!" Wooyoung complained.

"No, I don't want to. I know he's gonna be there." I replied annoyed.

"He said he'll not come for the same reason, because you could possibly go." San muttered revealing a conversation he shouldn't have.

"Babe, shut up!" The younger yelled.

I looked at them with wide eyes. "He said that? What does it mean?"
I cogitated, too many questions going through my mind. He's still thinking about me even if I didn't reply to any of his texts for almost two weeks and I avoided him like the plague.
"He should go if he wants to, he didn't care about me before so why now?" I ironically said with a little bit of venom in my voice.

"Hyung, don't speak like that! He cares about you. He has always cared, he just don't know how to express it. I believe you're too harsh on him. You know how he get scared when everything is good in his life. He fucked up, yes. He pushed you away because he clearly loves you and now that he realized his mistake, he's literally at your feet. And you! You acted a five year old! Like he owed you the fucking world. You weren't even officially together" Wooyoung was angry, really pissed off at me. I can't remember the last time he was mad like this. San grabbed his hand trying to calm him a little. "Just give him a chance. If you're not ready that fine but don't diminish his feelings or actions."

I stayed silent for a couple of minutes, staring at him speechless. "You know what? I'll go to your stupid party!"

Honestly, I hoped Hongjoong was going to be there. I didn't tell anyone, even if my friends probably know, but I miss him. It's easier to think that he don't give a damn about me than to remember how I miss his smile and his soft lips, his laugh and the way he gets embarrassed for almost everything, the serious look on his face when he works. I miss the cuddles and sleeping in the same bed, feeling the warm of his body next to me, the gentle stroke on my cheek he gave me before leaving, all the little things.

I miss him so much.

---

~Hongjoong~

I arrived at Keeho's house with Chan. We knew Keeho because he was a nice guy from Wooyoung and Yeosang vocal class, he invited everyone to the party. It was a big house, many people were present. We went directly towards the drinks.
Maybe I should've begin with something lighter than apple juice mixed with a good amount of rhum but who cares? I chose to get completely drunk by the end of the night. I looked around and spotted Yunho in the middle of the crowd. I decided to let Chan there, speaking to a pink hair guy I didn't know. I approached Yunho, realizing too late that he wasn't alone. He was with two other persons but I only saw one, forgetting everyone around us.

My jaw dropped and my heart sunk at the same time. He looked gorgeous, absolutely stunning. He had bleached his hair white, accentuating his light tan skin, pink glitters on his eyelids and a small eyeliner on his upper eyelids. His shirt lightly hugging his figure, slightly revealing the form of his upper body.
I looked up, Seonghwa was staring at me, as shocked as I was.
I couldn't help but think that I really messed up, how could I reject this man? That stupid to acknowledge it right now, I can drool over him all I want but he can go dancing with another guy if he feels like it, letting them touch his perfect body. I have no right to be jealous. Fuck.

He made the first move, probably seeing how I froze completely unable to speak. The music was so loud I almost couldn't hear him say with what seemed a forced smile. "Hi Hongjoong. I didn't know you were going to be at this party."

Is he talking to me? Me? Did he spoke to me? Don't panic! Breathe in, breathe out. "Nice to see you Seonghwa. Yeah, I mean I didn't know I was coming either until 20 minutes ago." I kinda yelled over the noise.

"Oh right, I see. Well, it's great that you are here." He seemed uncomfortable and excused himself to go take a drink. I followed him with my eyes until I lost him in the crowd. I stood there unable to go after him.

"This was something!" Yunho stated. I scratched the back of my neck, visibly queasy. I should searched for Seonghwa. This party could be one of the few moments I have to talk to him so I have to take this opportunity. Let's go, be brave.

"I also gotta go. Enjoy your time together!" I simply said and left, letting Mingi and Yunho alone.

I started to walk back to the kitchen where the drinks were and hopefully Seonghwa too. I searched for the newly blond man. I wished for a second I didn't.

Seonghwa was talking to Juyeon, some guy from Medical school. Why all the men he talks with have to be fucking handsome?
He was stupidly laughing, the other man leered at him with a smirk. I don't think I'd like to know what he wants from MY man. I felt so disgusted and jealous. Why are you talking to him?! Don't touch him.
He had on arm around his shoulders. When he saw me, Seonghwa moved Juyeon's hand off of him. He looked sorry. I just left as fast as I could.
"Wait! Hongjoong!"

To be continued...

Double update.

I made this chapter the day Seonghwa revealed his white hair, I literally fell on the ground. He looks so good, I couldn't not include it in this story!

(Edit : Still in love with blond Seonghwa by the way.)

(Edit 2 : He went back to black right before the Europe tour... Let's kill this love🥲)