The Girl With The Iron Will

Hearts Torn out of Balance

"I cry in the darkness as I call out your name, I wait for you to be together again."

Beast, Shadow

***

My dates with Jae Woong were nothing out of the ordinary, which was just how I liked them. Over the weeks of being his pseudo girlfriend, my schedule was almost always booked. He was afraid I would leave for New York in no time, since we had only just begun to be friendly enough with each other. He planned the activities, and either we would take my car, or he would take his.

We went for hikes, window-shopping - which always proved too tempting for Jae Woong, since he was so into fashion - dinners at delicious but relatively unknown diners. Through these activities, he would sometimes let loose the easy-going boy from my childhood instead of the arrogant persona he put on in school, especially in front of Kris.

Being attached when you're so used to being single is so weird, I thought to myself as I watched Jae Woong's car pull up in front of me. There's so much to be familiar with – dates, personal space...

And these damned feelings.

I took in a deep breath, opening the car door as I entered the passenger seat.

"Where to, tonight?" he asked.

I fastened the seatbelt, drawing up my legs and hugging my knees to my chest as I shrugged. "I don't know, I picked the place last time."

He gave me a grin. "Shall we watch a movie? I know a new one that just came out," he said, "You'd love it."

My eyebrows furrowed. "Is it horror?"

He was smiling as he drove. "Think of it as a personal sacrifice on my part."

I looked out the window, feeling the corner of my lips lift upwards despite not wanting them to. "Don't back down when we reach."

Jae Woong has no stomach for horror.

"I had better not. I rented the whole cinema just for this."

I raised my eyebrows. "Then why'd you even ask me where I wanted to go?"

He shot a smug look. "So I could give an illusion of choice."

I rolled my eyes.

***

Watching a horror movie with Jae Woong proved to be a difficult task.

"Oh, it's coming," he kept muttering, covering his face with his hands as he fidgeted in the beanie seat. "It's coming, it's coming, it's coming- AHHHHHH!"

The jumpscare had him flinching, and he scurried close, burrowing himself next to me, his cheek leaning against my shoulder while I kept eating my popcorn, unbothered.

"Don't even think of taking advantage of the situation," I told him.

He met my eyes in the dark, and I swore he hugged my arm tighter.

"Like I would dare hold you for something other than security."

But he was. And we both knew it.

***

"You're wasting your money. I'm not going to use half those things you're buying for me."

"Who cares? Your birthday's next week."

"Uh huh, exactly. A whole week from now."

He ignored my comment, bouncing over to a mannequin. "Look, a turtleneck! You like that whole androgynous look, we could get one of these and a beanie," he said, taking one off the rack, "Instant fashion. Oh, wait, there's a white and a black one. Come here. Let's see them on you."