All I've Ever Wanted

Chapter 18

Isabel’s POV

I deeply inhaled the scent of my hospital room. Slowly opening my eyes, to the familiar room I was in before. My head ached a little, but in return for all that pain, I once again remembered. If I retraced my past, I could remember, but vaguely. I guess my brain is still adjusting. Regaining my thoughts, still didn’t change the fact I was still confused. Confused on why Holly nearly killed me. Confused on why Conor lied to me. And more importantly, confused about Niall confessing his feelings to me. I know I should be happy, I’ve long for this as long as I could remember, but I didn’t know how to approach this situation. It was very delicate, if I admit to all of them I remembered and that I love Niall, then I could end up happy. But then that leaves me with Holly and Conor. Something inside me wanted to know why they hurt me, while something contradicted that and wanted me to brush everything off. 

“SHE’S AWAKE!” Harry screamed once he saw a glimpse of me. I had to make up my mind quick, whether to go with flow of things or proceed on finding out why these people did such terrible things to me, when I didn’t do anything. “Baby girl! Please tell me you know who we are?!” Louis asked desperately. 

“Uh, I still remember you guys… no new memories though… everything is foggy though.” I lied. Just looking at there disappointed faces, made me want to break. I watched Niall sigh in relief, thinking he was off the hook about his confession. “Well at least you’re fine!” Liam pointed out. “Yeah, goo-“, Louis didn’t even get to finish once Conor bursted in. He was out of breathe, hands on his knees, sweat dripping down his forehead. There was an awkward silence while we all watched Conor retain himself, listening to him breathe like Darth Vader. “You done yet, kid?” Louis asked breaking the silence. He nodded, and his sharp hazel eyes looked directly at me. “Well, we’ll leave you two alone…” Louis suggested. “But, wait we can’t-“, Liam quickly covered Harry’s mouth leading him out. Zayn and Niall followed, leaving the door open just crack. 

“Do..do you remember?” He stuttered. “No”, I answered blandly. He looked like a huge weight was just lifted from his shoulders once I answered. I examine him closely, looking at the dark brunette standing before me, trying to make myself believe this sweet kid lied to me. No matter how much I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, I just end up remembering what he actually did. My mind kept replaying how that very moment happened. “Why are you staring at me like that?” He nervously asked. “Nothing. Just thinking… Hey, just wondering, but can you tell how you asked me out?” I asked trying to remain calm. He paused for a moment, before he began to explain. He told me every detail from beginning to end. “…I made a path of roses, for you to follow to the stage…” He trailed off. What he was saying, wasn’t completely untrue. 

Before I could even think of what to say next, Niall bursted in. “THAT’S NOT TRUE! COMPLETELY UNTRUE! YOU NEVER ASKED HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!” He proclaimed. Conor froze, he was completely caught. “How do you know that? You weren’t there!” He defended. “Please, someone elaborate!” I said making them stop their bickering and turn to me. They both started to explain simultaneously, like I could understand any of that! “Gah! One at a time morons!” Louis yelp. “Isabel, don’t listen to him! He’s a liar! You never agreed to be his boyfriend before all this happen! I know this for a fact, you told me you didn’t love him! He’s being delusional!” Niall eagerly explained. Conor was just about defend himself once more but I stop him. “You know…” I took a deep breathe. “There is a difference when you ask someone to homecoming and when you asked them to be your girlfriend.” I told him calmly, looking deeply into his eyes. “You…you…”, he tried to say something. “I remember? Yeah, remember how you asked me to homecoming, remember how Holly pushed me, and remember how you looked at me and just flat out lied.” my anger was starting to build up, and I could just blow up at minute. The boys looked shocked, but mostly Niall and Conor. “Isabel… Please let me explain….” He trailed off. Watching him babble about why he lied just gave me a big headache. “I just wanted to know how it felt to be loved by someone you loved so much…” he ended. I felt empathy for him, I knew exactly how that felt, but this still wasn’t a excuse to lie about our “relationship”. “So you lied to me when I was most vulnerable?” my voice getting louder, as he looked at his plain black converse. “That’s not love, that’s selfishness!” I yelled back at him, making Louis come towards me, comforting me. “I’m… Sorry…I… I’m sorry”, he managed to say before he ran out of the room. Harry and Zayn motioned to follow him, but I stop them, “Let him think. I understand him, even if what he did hurt. Just let him think.” “Isabel! He lied to you! How can you even contemplate about being nice to him?” Niall questioned. “You wouldn’t understand…” I mumbled. “I think I do. He loved you, am I right?” I nodded. “But you apparently you didn’t love him back. He just wanted to be loved back, right?” I nodded once again. “What’s your point?” I asked him wanting him to get straight to it. “My point is, you think I don’t know how that feels, when in fact I do. I came back, and I realize that the girl of my dreams was all along in front me. These past few weeks were just so slow, so painful. Not knowing how you really felt about me, wanting to call you mine. I know how it feels Isabel, and it isn’t great.” he vented. It took me a while before I could respond, I was still trying to soak things in. This wasn’t the time nor place to talk about Niall and I, my head was so strained and I just wanted everything to go back to normal. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I need some time, time to think things through.” I reasoned. He didn’t seem satisfied, but he didn’t disagree. One by one the boys left, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Tonight was going to be rough, but hopefully I would come up with some type of solution to all this chaos.