HIS DOLL

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JIMIN'S POV

The party as always was not pleasant, after jungkook and I had our time, he dressed up quickly as I stayed in bed, under his sheets. I watched in fascination as his think muscles rippled as he put on his shirt. No matter how many times I have seen jungkook with no clothes on it never fails to make me drool. He was literally a God, his body a masterpiece. His veiny arms and toned thighs had me inwardly begging. I was mesmerised by the mere presence of him.
'I will send the driver in 10 minutes, be ready to leave though the backdoor.' He said not making eye contact with me, his voice as always showed off dominance,as he buttoned up his shirt while looking at the huge mirror.
'Yes alpha...' I said as he watched him turn around to look at me making my breath hinge. 'Did you eat?' He asked and I felt my heart flutter. It was the first time he asked something of the sort to me after such parties. He was always in a hurry to make me leave.

As I shook my head he signed ' why didn't you? Too busy talking to all those people at the party?' He finished mockingly.  He had always said that he wanted me to act in an acceptable manner in these parties, said that he should not see me shying away like I always did.

I lower my head embarrassed and a little hurt as he continued 'I noticed you not talking to anyone and not eating anything... you can't just survive on wine and champagne. Jimin i expect you eat when invited to these parties from now on. do I make myself clear?'

I nod still not looking up as I hear him sigh, coming to stand in front of me 'don't make the driver wait and make sure to eat on your way home' he said before lifting my chin with his thumb and index finger ' look at me doll...' he whispered and I hesitate but still look at him, his black eyes have me almost drowning in them ,his eyes always drove me a little crazy.
He looks at me before brushing a strand of my hair away from my face 'I'll spend the night, day after tomorrow' he says still looking at me.
'Y-you wouldn't come Tommorow alpha?' I ask
'I wouldn't, that's what I just said ' he said a little angrily and I look away embarrassed. Jungkook hates repeating himself, I already knew that but I still had to ask, now he is angry at me. It must have shown that I was upset because he sighed.
'I will come tonight...but don't wait up, I will be late' he says cupping my face to make me look at him again. 'Sleep...' I nod and notice a small smile on his face.

On the car ride back I am still stuck on that smile , he has not really ever smiled at me , maybe it was just my imagination, maybe he was being polite.

As soon as I was in the safety of my apartment, I cooked up some ramen, which was basically all I knew how to make before making my way to the balcony. My apartment was beautiful, spacious and fully furnished with the most comfortable furniture. It was in the heart of the city with a gorgeous view from the balcony. It was a miracle that I could easily afford this place, considering that I am a dance instructor . I still remember asking the landlord if he had forgotten a couple of zeros when he told me the rent. Obviously I took it, I was just a block away from my friend's own apartment and close to jungkooks place as well.
The balcony was the second most favourite part of  my home , first being my bed room of course. Not only was it super comfy and warm but I also have had some precious memories there. It was where I had my first time with jungkook after I ran away from my home at the age of 18. I sigh at the thought of home , it suddenly brought back some memories of pain and I found myself  brushing it aside. Nothing good ever comes when I think about my family, feelings of guilt and worthless overwhelms me every time I think about my parents.
Shaking my head I make my way towards my bed after discarding the left over ramen. sleep never came easily to me, specially if I am alone . After tossing and turning for hours I feel myself finally drift off to sleep as two strong arms hug me from behind pulling me towards a hard solid chest.
I couldn't help but smile, loving the feeling of those arms and loving the person holding me even more.
*****
The next morning , when I wake up I am not surprised to see jungkook gone.I take a moment to wake up , sniffing the sheets to absorb any ounce of my alphas remaining scent before heading to the shower in snail pace. I couldn't help but pout because I can't see jungkook today or even tomorrow for that matter. I sigh, I don't work on sundays and Saturdays but I hated being by myself. It wasn't fair that only I would miss him dearly, that only I seemed eager to see him. He could easily go days without seeing me, could act like I was invisible even when I was in front of him. It hurt me and made me realise again that my feelings are and always were one sided, but I couldn't stop loving him, nothing stopped the fluttering butterflies in my belly everytime I saw him, everytime he kissed me and made love to me I couldn't help but feel like he did love me. I wanted to live by the illusion that he did love me every time he touched me and held me. I wanted to believe that his love language was buying me very expensive gifts. I didn't want to see those gifts as a reward for what I do for him physically because that very idea made me feel sick.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 21 ⏰

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