A year later after the ending

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Dear Finnick,

It's officially been six years since it all happened.

And I miss you.

I miss the way you'd say my name. I miss the way my head fit perfectly on your shoulder. I miss the way I didn't have to feel embarrassed asking you for a favor.

I miss hearing you say Angel.

But I also love that I don't hear you say Angel. Angel a simple word which will forever be in graved in my mind as you.

I'm not an Angel. Well in the way you spoke of it. You my Finnick. You were and are the Angel. Angels are a elegant beautiful creature. I am not. I am an Angel of death.

Every time I start to care for a person they die. I cared for you. I loved you. I still love you. That will never change. No matter how selfish that may seem.

Finnick you are the Angel. Without you even trying you lit up a room. You'd walk in and everyone's moods became better. You'd smiled and everyone would smile with you.

I miss your smile.

I could name a thousand things that I miss about you. More than a thousand I just have to limit myself before this piece of paper turns into a pile of mush from my tears staining it.

Which they've already have.

But I continue to write.

I have too.

Leo asked me the other day if I was in love like his mom and dad.

(He looks more and more like Roland every day)

I told him yes. Which made him ask more questions about love and how you know when you are in love.

So I told him our story. Not our full story I kept out our gory details. But I told him we survived through thick and thin.

He asked if I missed you.

I choked up.

My mind started racing trying to figure out which thing I miss the most.

I of course miss you as a whole.

But I miss the little things.

I miss every little thing you've done, cause all those little things slowly piled up to one massive thing which made me love you.

I feel silly writing this, but somehow it feels necessary although my time being tortured in the capital are over I still struggle. I have days I don't want to get out of bed cause I think they'll test on me. When I forget where I placed something I grow nervous that the medicine is coming back.

Sounds ridiculous I know.

But, I don't want to forget us. I have once before and I can only say those where the worst days. Not remembering your smile or how you spoke was the worst type of torture.

Now I fear I'll forget these memories like I did once before. And I just can't let that happen. So I sit here at your desk the window open hearing the waves hit the sand, writing.

No matter how hard it is to write all this out I feel as if I owe it to myself. Knowing these memories are all I have left. I cannot forget.

I love you my Angel Finnick Odair.

I will never forget you.

Love,
Cypress Bennet-Odair

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