Tainted Hearts (rewriting)

beginnings

I laid my head back against the pillow and let my body sink into the thick comforters like a cocoon. I closed my eyes, and listened to the soft soundtrack that played in the background, Gymnopedie No. 1. I always told myself that if I ever picked up the piano this would be the first song I learned. It's so cautious yet freeing, like a new beginning.

"Hey"

"Hey"

Danny walked over to lay besides making the mattress dip to his side. With newfound bravery, I slowly inched my hand towards his and interlocked our fingers. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face but I didn't dare open my eyes. I wouldn't be able to hold myself together if I knew he was looking at me. We stayed silent like this until the song was over and Daniel spoke up.

"I've been looking into some good programs, an old friend of mine who's been sober recommended me to this one clinic his aunt runs. Says they could let me in for a pretty good price considering I don't have much to spend," he whispered.

I sat up and looked at him in shock,"Really? Daniel that's absolutely amazing!"

"Yeah, I've been speaking with her for a bit over the phone for some intakes. She thinks I'd be a perfect candidate and that it could really make a difference."

I was stunned by his words and relieved. I never imagined he'd move this fast, all this time we had both spent stuck in the trenches, empty promises that tomorrow would be better and here we are. Finally seeking that better tomorrow.

"This is perfect! Where is it and when are you going?"I bombarded him with question after question as I jumped on top of him and looked down into his eyes with the goofiest grin.

The corner of his lips tilted up into a small smile and he reached his hand up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear, then moving to cradle my face into his palm. This seemed like it should've been the happiest moment imaginable, but his eyes stared at me in sadness.

"The thing is Elle, the program starts next week...and it's in the US."

My mind stopped.

Time stopped.

Once again I've been thrown out of reality and into a parallel universe.

Why me? What was the purpose of all this? To give me this man, this sense of hope and love just to have it torn from my arms. How could I say goodbye when I've just said hello?