Flower Girl | h.s.

36.*

Daisy

"Can mommy be in charge tonight?"

The words ring between the walls of our hotel room, and I see he's almost rendered speechless by the fact that I say them at all. His eyes are situated on me as I stare down at him; my thumb pressing itself into his mouth just enough to hear him whimper at the touch.

I get a small nod from him, his eyes never leaving me. It's like they're completely glued to mine as I blink a few times to try to gauge his reaction– try to take him from the mesmerization.

"Fuck, yeah," Harry breathes out, his hands grip the back of my thighs even tighter so his fingers dig into my skin; I ache for the feeling of them everywhere, "Oh, fucking please."

I instantly feel a twist in my abdomen at his begging– his need to be dominated is one we've only skimmed the surface with.

But, I was interested in what could possibly have been done– what I could help with tonight that would let him know how much I loved him and what he was worth to me.

"Move to the bed and wait for me," I bite my lip, trying my best to be as telling and pointed, "Hands above your head."

I held my composure, watching as he sat still for a moment, almost as if he was testing me. It was like he didn't believe me, maybe, or that he was contemplating what my next move would be afterwards. Maybe he was thinking about where this could lead, and I wanted to make it a surprise for the both of us.

In reality, I knew that I had wanted to do this for Harry for his birthday– I wanted to make him feel like the most special man alive. Yesterday, I had a specific set of lingerie that I had picked out for after our dinner– I had worn it all through dinner, knowing that it wasn't going to see the light of day, especially after our small fight.

I wouldn't have even called it a fight-- but it definitely didn't leave room for any sort of sensuality to come to fruition.

Either way, his eyes wouldn't get a chance to look over it. But this anticipation of him seeing me in it was something that made me feel like I hadn't before, almost like I had been stuck in a rut of feeling like I always had to make myself feel good for a partner to want me.

I knew that I didn't have to feel that way with him; I didn't have to make this revolve around him. His gaze was on me, always on me. His priority was always me, which I knew after this afternoon. He had always found a reason to put me first, and I didn't know how to handle that. I had never had that.

My thought was to put him first, always. That's what I did; that's what the woman did. That's what I saw growing up. It was always about getting up to serve your partner, someone who was supposed to feel like an equal but just... wasn't.

Tonight, though. Tonight was a reward for us making today what it was.

This was for us. 

We were equals, and I wanted to make sure he felt that.

I loved watching him want me as much as I loved making him want me. I knew he loved wanting, aching for the way that I could tease him and play with him until his fingers gripped so tightly at the sheets that they almost ripped under his contact.

I was going to push him tonight; push him to the point of losing all control. The point where he was the most terrified to go. We had played with this before, tying him up and blindfolding him. But tonight was a bit different.

It was the full fantasy that I had to develop. Of course, now it would be a bit different that I don't think either of us were ready to indulge in having actual intercourse right now. But that didn't change how we had to please each other.