His Wounded Heart Beats For One (Levi x Reader Fanfiction)

18: A Sudden But Welcome Guest

You don't know what he'd think of it. In his last dinner with you, he had expressed how terrible the idea would be. He even accused the Scout leadership, warning you against their slyness. You heard him, and you promised you wouldn't follow them, and you even conceded to the absurdity of the notion.

But you agreed to the very notion you had rejected previously. Erwin, the sly leader, roped you into the regiment, Levi reacting with reluctant understanding. You're part of the rowdy lunatics now, your silly soul bursting with gumption that threw you into this new venture.

Conversations with Walter, Erwin, and Levi replay in your head as you work, taking up more space in your head than the task at hand. You don't want to tell Walter. You don't want to see his reaction when you confess to him that you've given up your life to the Scouts.

You're following your dad, you could claim. Then, it'd be awful of Walter to disrespect the dead by disparaging your choice. It's a safe option to use your father as an excuse.

But that's just avoiding the truth, and even if you don't want to, you need to be honest with your mentor. Walter deserves honesty, no matter how much you're unprepared to give it. Yes, a part of you is honored to take after your father, but your true motivations for the Scouts aren't purely for his sake. It'd be awful of you to hide behind his memory when explaining your desire.

You work on paperwork during the lunch hour, turning down Walter's offer of eating out. You're too swamped with anxious thoughts to settle enough and eat.

In the late afternoon, Walter closes up the clinic and begins cleaning up the room, wiping down exam tables while you finish sorting patient records.

Best to just do it right now, you tell yourself. Bite the bullet and tell him. Stalling won't be of any good.

"Walter."

Walter stops his cleaning almost instantly, perturbed by your use of his full first name. A choice like that could mean the start of a serious conversation, and he's sure to treat it as such. "What is it?" He leaves his washcloth behind and swiftly—as swiftly as he can—makes his way to the desk you're working at.

You wish he had kept working; you don't want to break news to such an attentive audience. The clinic is quiet, nothing to distract either of you from the topic you don't want to bring up.

But you have to. Walter deserves it.

"I...um, need to tell you something."

Obviously, you do. Walter's waiting anticipatively.

You exhale. "Section Commander Erwin spoke with me—with the nurses during our time there. He...well, he offered positions in the regiment to us. Actually in the regiment, like, as part of the Scouts."

Walter's eyebrows raise quizzically. "Is that so?"

Did you accept? you can feel him ask.

"I really gave it some thought," you begin. "I talked with the nurses, and the soldiers, and the section commanders. I was thinking about his offer the whole time." You're building up a cushion, thinking up every defense for your conclusion. "I actually was one of the last nurses to decide," you chuckle lightly.

Walter attempts to meet your faux amusement, but he's already catching the drift of where you're headed. He waits.

"But...um, but in the end, I made a choice. And...well, I...I said yes, Walter. I joined the Scouts."

You yearn to sprint right out of the clinic, sparing yourself from his reaction. Jumping in the river seems pretty damn enticing right now. Maybe you could swim away from the guilt of this confession.