𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐱 || 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑𝟑: 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠.

—Oh, Obi... —My eyes filled up with tears as a reflex. My hands pulled him by his shoulders for him to hug me. —Obi, please, come back to us. —A tear fell down my cheek, falling in his cloak. I cried quietly, his robes muffling some of my words. — Talk to me. I may not understand completely, but I'm here for you. Do you listen to me? I'm here for you. —My words came out like vomit but I needed him to listen to me while I had the chance.

Obi-Wan embraced me back and tightened his arms around me, like anchoring himself to me, relying on me to hold him.

—That's more than enough, darling. —He whispered with a broken voice before his whole body started to shake in cries.

—That's it. Let it out. —I rubbed his back in comfort. —Shh... it's okay...

After a while of having him in my arms, he found the strength to stop crying and breathe in.

—I don't know what's happening to me... I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror... —Obi-Wan mumbled, looking down at the floor.

I rubbed his shoulders, providing him with warmth.

—Did you know that was the first time I saw her since the day we broke up? —He said with a low voice, almost unhearable. —The first time we ever see each other after everything... and she sees me as a monster. —His face shook in impotence.

—You're not a monster. —My affirmation was strong. — That man had it coming, you hear me? You did the right thing. Wasn't he a hypocrite? A representation of the Jedi double standard? —I reminded him, gripping his arm.

—Yes, he was... But...

— But what? —I crossed my arms as I watched him lean his back on the edge of the balcony.

—It's not that easy, y/n. —He sighed tiredly. —You didn't know who I was before the Empire. —Somehow I felt that he was struggling to find that forgotten image too.

—I know the basics, you and Anakin were kind of the predilect heroes of the Order or whatever. —I rolled my eyes, acting like it was an exaggeration. It was successful in making him laugh though.

—They always called us in when the Republic absolutely needed to win. —He beamed with melancholy. —I was a great Jedi. I'm not the one to brag about myself... but I was a pretty good damn Jedi. —He nodded as he looked to the sky. —I followed the Code, helped with selflessness, my colleagues trusted me and my leadership skills were constantly sought. I did my job like no one could. —He grinned proudly. —I was Obi-Wan Kenobi, for fuck's sake.

—You sure are, old man. — I squeaked with a high-pitched voice and he chuckled.

—I liked my life. It was alright. —He shrugged his shoulders. — I found peace in the Jedi structure, in its rules and traditions. I knew I would always have Qui-Gon and Anakin, but I also could count on the other members. The Order was like a family, we were the closest thing to siblings that we would have, so I appreciated them as such. —He moved his feet impatiently, the movement a distraction so he could finish his story.

I sat on the ledge as well, putting a leg on top of it to hug it and the other one swinging on the nothingness.

Obi-Wan stopped avoiding my gaze and met my eyes.—So can you imagine how much I loved her to leave all of that behind?

— She must've been one special woman. —I tilted my head shyly, not sure what to respond.

—She was. —He nodded with a pause. — She is. Quite extraordinary and unique. —He pulled the little hairs from his beard.