Lost in July

XXIII

Collin
~
I decided to wake up extra early today so I could mentally prepare for my first day back at school.

The school year only just started so hopefully no one noticed my absence. Though i'm sure my teachers will have a blast pointing it out, as they always do.

I thought I was going to wake up with loads of anxiety, but I'm surprisingly okay.

I've been walking on sunshine since that night with Margo. Neither of us have really mentioned the kiss, but we're still the same. She called me last night ranting about her first day. I could've listened to her talk for hours on end.

We stayed on the phone until we both fell asleep and something inside of me feels whole. I didn't even take my meds yet.

I slowly pull myself out of bed and brush my teeth. I attempt to tame my hair that has flopped and tangled all over the place. My mess of curls fall relatively neatly, so I drag myself downstairs to find my mother sipping her morning coffee.

"Good morning, honey! We have coffee and Bradley is cooking up some eggs for you." She greets me and I smile, pecking her cheek.

"Thanks," I head into the kitchen to find Bradley, our chef because neither of my parents know how to cook. Bradley has been around since I was five, so clearly he's just another family member at this point.

I clap his shoulder as he cooks over the stove, surprising him. "Hey Brad," I greet, smiling.

"Collin! Good morning. Scrambling your eggs for you as we speak," he says cheerfully. Bradley has never once strayed from his positive attitude. I don't think I've ever caught him on a bad day... ever.

He's seen how neglectful my parents can be, so he always overcompensated by making my favorite meals and even sticking around to eat them with me. We love football season because he makes an entire buffet and we all gather around the TV to scream obscenities as our team plays.

"Thanks. They smell great," I smile, heading to the medicine cabinet to grab my pills. I fill a glass with water and gulp them down.

"I missed you, kid," Bradley says, turning to face me. "how was your stay?"

I shrug. "The usual," he knows I don't like to talk about this stuff much, so he doesn't ask me any follow up questions. "I missed you, too."

We talk about the usual, football, his family, even the damn weather when we run out of things to discuss.

After being discharged, sometimes it's hard for me to get back into the swing of regular life, but Brad always helps me. He reminds me how to communicate, how to eat without wanting to puke, and most of all he provides comfort. He's as normal as they come, and I'm grateful I have him around.

My mother comes in to grab some eggs for herself and sits down next to us. "How are you this morning?" She asks, looking at me with soft eyes.

I scrunch my brows. "Good..." I trail off awkwardly. I love my mom, I do, but she's not the type to ask you how you are. She's either too busy or too preoccupied in her own mind. Even Bradley looks confused.

My guess is she feels guilty after our therapy session and now she's trying to change. I appreciate the effort, but I also don't want her to force herself to give a fuck.