Falling // Jaywon

8

I walked through the big house realizing that I didn't even know whose party this was. Maybe it's Heeseungs? I don't know. I shrugged to myself while looking around for Sunoo and Sunghoon.

I couldn't find Sunoo, but eventually, I saw sunghoon sitting upstairs against a wall. He was staring at his phone. I titled my head curiously and went to sit beside him. He glanced at me and then back at his phone, He looks upset.

"What's wrong hoon?" He sighed loudly and rested his head on the wall. "Well. Sunoo found that guy he likes.. His name is Niki. And they're talking to eachother right now." he mumbled, staring out in front of him.

Oh, so it was Niki who he ran into.

"Ah, I see. Don't be too upset, I mean he doesn't know him well yet right?" He shrugged, I felt bad for him because he's been trying to confess for a while now. He probably feels discouraged now. "I guess... Sunoo seems to be really into him. I can't compete with that when he's never even stared at me like that. He will always just think of me as a friend." He said sadly, picking up his drink and taking a sip.

I sighed and looked at him one more time, he's been drinking too. This probably isn't good. They shouldn't be drinking too much. "Do you want me to get you a ride home? You don't need to stay," I told him but he just shook his head. "I'm okay. I'll stay for a bit. Go have fun." he gave me a small smile and patted my knee.

I hesitantly nodded, not wanting to leave him alone. I stood up and gave him a reassuring smile, he gave a thumbs up and I walked back downstairs.

I went back to the kitchen but this time Daniel and Jake weren't there. I saw Jay turned around getting himself a drink. I hummed to myself and walked up beside him. He looked over at me and smiled. "Hey, jungwon~ you made it." I nodded and gave him a smile back. "Of course. I was thinking you weren't coming," I told him honestly, taking a sip of my drink. "Ah.. were you waiting for me?" He asked teasingly, I quickly shook my head. "Hell no." Maybe I was waiting actually.

He laughed and turned towards me after he got his drink. I raised my eyebrows curiously, "Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked. He just smiled and shook his head. "You just look kind of different tonight." "Different? How?"

He smiled and looked around before looking back at me. "I mean.. in a good way. You look even cuter than usual."

I tried to fight off the shy feeling I was having, it felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I guess they were butterflies? I hummed awkwardly and looked down at my cup before taking a big drink. He laughed at me and shook his head. That's when Jake came running into the kitchen. Yep, he's definitely drunk.

"Hi my wonie~~" he smiled and put his arm around me. I looked back over at Jay who seemed to be glaring at him... Why?

"What Jake?" I asked, a little annoyed with my currently gone friend. He giggled and I mentally cringed, "Hi Jay, it's nice to meet you. I've heard about you~" he grinned while looking over at the boy in front of me who was now smiling. But it seemed fake. "It's nice to meet you too," he mumbled.

"Anyways, i need to tell you something won." He pulled me closer with his arm, I glanced at jay who looked serious again.
Why does this feel so awkward?

"You can tell me here Jakey," I said but I couldn't help but laugh because it seemed like Jay was annoyed with the nicknames, or maybe he was just annoyed with jake. Jake looked at jay then back at me, smirking, "You sure about that?" I didn't feel so sure now because of how he said that. I shrugged at jay who was listening but he didn't look like he cared too much.

"I guess?" I replied, Jake hummed and I suddenly felt like I might regret my decision. "I don't know if I should tell you this but I'm so fucking out of it that I can't stop thinking about telling you." "Daniel really likes you. Like he's technically in love with you! I'm telling you because man, he's a coward. I just tried to convince him and he still wouldn't do it." He laughed and shook his head.

I didn't even pay attention to Jay's reaction because I was too shocked. "Dani?.. likes me?" I asked quietly, practically in disbelief. Jake nodded proudly, "Don't lie to me, Jake." I said seriously but he just pouted, "I'm not lying! why would I lie when I'm drunk??" he fake cried.

I looked over at jay who was staying quiet but he was still standing there for some reason. He looked almost as shocked as me. "Who's Daniel?" Jay asked curiously, Looking at jake who was totally out of it.

I sighed and took jakes arm off of me but he still stood there, looking at jay weirdly. "he's my best friend. I had no idea he liked me like that." he nodded, understanding it. "Do you like him?" He asked, making me even more shocked. "do I like daniel? not like that no. ill have to talk to him myself later." He nodded again, but he had this weird look. I couldn't understand why I still can't read his expressions.

Jake giggled and ruffled my hair, "I gotta go. Don't tell Daniel I told you~" he said excitingly before wobbling out of the kitchen.
Jay laughed and shook his head, "Your friend is weird."
I nodded, immediately agreeing with him. "You'd think he's normal when he's sober but no. Honestly, he's the same."

He laughed and I laughed too hearing him. I took a drink, Jay continued to look at me which made me nervous.
Why does it feel like this when he's literally just staring at me???
Am I starting to like him?
No I can't like jay. It doesn't make sense.

He smiled at me and suddenly it felt like he was getting closer to me. I still couldn't take my eyes off of him though. Shit- did he just stare at my lips?? What the hell-

Is he going to to kiss me right now? I should push him away..

It was too late for that now. As soon as his lips touched mine I couldn't pull away yet, why?? I've never even kissed anyone so I had no idea what it was supposed to be like. But this felt... like he was meant to kiss me.

I kissed him back for a moment before I finally came to my senses, I slightly pushed him away and back up away from him. He looked at me confused, "I-I'm sorry, I've got to go." He tried to say something but I quickly walked out of the kitchen.

I don't know why I pulled away but I began regretting it right away. I could've just let him kiss me.. what am I doing?

I walked upstairs and found sunghoon still in the same spot, watching his phone. "Hoon, I'm going home. Can you help the guys get back?"
He looked up at me confused, "I guess?... what's wrong?" He now looked a bit concerned.

"Uhm.. I'll tell you later." I hesitated and walked back downstairs, I was walking through h the living room when someone grabbed my arm. "Are you leaving already?" It was Heeseung. He looked at me worryingly. I tried to control my expression to keep calm. "Yes.. something came up, I'm sorry." I lied, staying calm.

He sighed and let go of my arm, "okay.. have a safe drive."
I nodded and gave him a fake smile before leaving the house.

Maybe I should've told the other boys that i was leaving..
No. Sunghoon will be fine with them.

______
Jay Park did you leave?
Jay Park I didn't mean to scare you away, jungwon.
Jay Park I just couldn't help it. I'm sorry.
Jay Park we can pretend it never happened
______

It's not that.
And I don't want that.

I wanted to tell him but I felt scared for some reason?
But why am I so scared of liking jay?

________

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<333