A.N. This is a mix of fiction & my life
"You're a bitch, do you know that?!"
That was the last sentence he had sent her before leaving her stranded, facing a blank white wall.
She wanted to cry.
She had been with him for exactly one year and two weeks, and this was the second time he had called her a bitch. And she couldn't even bring herself to hate him.
No, she could only feel a strong need to run after him and wrap her arms around his warm torso and tell him that she would do anything to be with him.
Except that she couldn't.
Her life at home was terrible. Death threats were flying out of her parents' mouths every single day. To each other, and to her as well, from her mom.
As far as she was concerned, she had the best dad ever. He loved her very much, and always defended her when her sister told tall tales about her to mom. But then, even he has a limit of ignoring stupidity. Like her mother's.
It had boiled down to minimal verbal exchange when normal, and outrageously loud, the-neighbours-would-wish-they-were-deaf-loud fights when provoked by the other or some related stimulus.
She should have gotten used to it by now, but each time, she would curl up in bed and cry silently, hugging the pillow and wishing that he was here, to witness it, so he can finally believe her.
Which always brought her to her next problem: he never believed her. He always thought that she was overreacting, that all parents were strict and controlling. She guessed they were, but she also guessed that no mother had ever called her daughter many of the nastiest words found in their native language.
Of course, she wasn't allowed to have a mobile because they were 'dangerous' and 'pave way for destruction'. She never went to question her parents, because that always, always, ended badly. And when she explained this to him, he wanted her to rebel against them to get what she wanted.
As if she had a super power that would ever make them listen to anything she had to say.
She was starting to feel ridiculous, having to explain her life over and over, trying to convince him that yes, she was telling the truth, and no, she couldn't text or chat with him because of her situation. She didn't even want to imagine what her house would be like if they ever caught her being in a relationship. It would be the definite end of the world.
She had had enough.
Look, I'm sorry, but I don't think I can be in a relationship right now...I am going through some stuff, and I can't be committed as you expect me to be. I love you very much, but I also love my life. I would want to be with you when I am actually in a position to control my life. Would you want that?
She was scared, but she hit send anyway. This had to be done. She couldn't torture herself like this. The numerous cuts on her arms told her that she couldn't control herself to do anything anymore.
There was no reply. Just a facebook status change, saying, "I can't reply to your messages, dear, 'cause you hurt me so much. But I am not angry with you".
There it was, for all of their friends to see. Making her look like a heartless bitch for leaving such a good boy.
Just seeing it made her blood boil. As if he was the one in need of sympathizers. She could see what he was doing. He was trying to convince their friends that he had done nothing wrong and that she was to blame entirely. Of course her friends would believe him.