Fangs of a Butterfly

CHAPTER 40

One day I had Gregoire leave his room and sat in a chair in the room as Cecile laid there on two pillows, stomach now almost fully bloated at seven months. It passed so quickly, our happy breakfast and dinners like a big family. Uriel came to talk to me or draw me, Yves came to banter, and the girls joining in for fun.

I was looking at Cecile as I thought of this. The birth would signify my death. I would have to leave.

"Cecile, a mother already," I murmured to myself. She giggled at what I said.

"I'm older, Margery. And I always wanted children, boy or girl. You were forced to by Agnes."

"True. I can't wait to travel around without children, be independent and free." I hugged myself jokingly.

"Where are you going to go?"

"Well, around popular tourist places. Just sightseeing. When I have had enough I'll leave the country and go to another. I heard there's more than a hundred countries, I'll be fine."

"You don't have a passport or legal documents though," Cecile pointed out. I shrugged.

"I'm sure there's an underground vampire web I can get help in. I am beautiful, and human or vampire, men will be ensnared." She smiled as I rocked back and forth on the rocking chair in their room. It was far bigger than Lark and mine, as though it were made for a married couple.

"But I'll be sad leaving you," I found myself whispering. "I'm still afraid of the dark. I'm more scared of Elsie than the twins—and I will miss the girls, too. I wanted to help them, but they've found a family already. Now I realized I was the one who clung to them for remnants of Sabine and even Primrose."

I sobbed, realizing everything I'd been holding in and thinking about. Cecile gestured for a hug, so I crawled onto the side of the bed and laid my head on her shoulder as she patted my head.

"Margery," she said, "I'm the same. I've been trying to find a family for so long I wonder if I can make one. But I want you to know, you must absolutely not leave someone who loves you without a word. I don't want to lecture you, but please talk to Uriel."

"No!" I cried through my tears.

"Listen, Margery! If he went and died tomorrow you'd be hurt all the same. You'd hate him because you love him. It'll be the same for him, who loves you so much it's engulfing him. I know, because I loved Gregoire like that too."

I nodded as I rubbed my eyes on her, making her laugh and turn her body to hug me. I looked at the big belly.

"Doesn't it hurt?" I asked.

"You're like a child sometimes, Margery." Cecile laughed. "Do you want it to be a niece or nephew?"

"Nephew. Too many girls and humans here, I need a vampire boy to bully," I said with an evil smile. Cecile's laughter was like the mother I always dreamed of. "What about you?"

"I don't know yet. Names are hard to choose, too, because Gregoire wants me to choose but I want him to choose. He's getting old, so he's scared he'd be an embarrassment to the child. He's so adorable." Cecile closed her eyes. "I just know our child will be like him, studious, passionate, maybe slightly awkward, but they would be like him."

"Don't you want them to be like you, too?" I asked.

"Hmm," she hummed, "I'm still growing as I live in this world. Still learning and changing—I don't know how they'd be like if they took after me."

"They would be pretty, or handsome—or both." I sighed. "Maybe have your white hair, even."

"I don't think so, Margery. Even my mother was brown-haired," she said. Then, "I'm sorry I mentioned it."