The Mistress Wife

Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

FIVE DAYS, six cases of beer and a whole lot of mess here I am downing myself in another bottle of beer.

I heard my phone rang for the nth time but I just let it. I don't want to talk to anyone. Gusto kong mapagisa, or ever better; I want to die.bAt this point I prefer dying than living. What's the point to live if the girl you love hates your sorry-pathetic ass?

I must've been the most stupid person on earth. No. I am. I should've listened to my parents, to lily. I should've... damn it! Bakit ba ang tanga ko? Why did I do that stupid plan? Bakit hindi ko pinagisipang mabuti? F^ck!

I threw the half empty bottle of beer across the room sending it shattering to million of pieces like the others- like my heart.

I picked up another bottle of beer

"ARGH!!!!" I threw the bottle across the room making it land on something...

Our wedding picture. I stood up to pick it up.

Damn. She's so beautiful here, her smile is so bright and her eyes, damn, I could see the happiness in it. We look so perfect here. and now. I ruined it. I removed it on the broken frame.

Was my love not enough, Lester? Na inisip mo na huhusgahan kita? That I'll see you as a disspointment of a husband? Hindi ko ba naparamdam sayo na mahal na mahal kita na matatangap ko lahat ng flaws mo just like how you accepted mine?

F^ck! You're love is more than enough, I was just too stupid na nagpakain ako sa insecurities ko. I love you Lorraine. I love you.

I stared at it even more, making me slumped down on the floor and cry. Dying would be a great choice now.

I felt a warm cloth being dab gently on my face. Dammit, I fell asleep. I opened my eyes. Damn.. I'm still dreaming.

"Lorraine" She looks so fucking beautiful even in my dream. Damn.

"You're awake!" she exclaimed, then placed the cloth on the basin beside her "I made soup, iinitin ko lang" then she started walking. Don't. Don't leave me please!

Tumayo ako parahabulin siya pero hindi ako makatayo, natumba lamang ako at napasalampak sa sahig. Ouch!

"Lester!" I heard her startled voice. Lumapit siya sakin at inalalayan akong tumayo "What are you doing? Mahiga ka muna jan.. I'll bring the soup" She was about to go pero hinablot ko siya at yinakap, I buried my face in her neck, she still smells so good parang nandito talaga siya.

If I'm dreaming, don't ever wake me up, please.

I tightened my arms around her and sobbed.

Lahat ng gusto kong sabihin, hindi ko masabi. I just cried like a baby while she pat my back. Kinocomfort niya ako; I should be the one comforting her. Maybe this is my own mind playing tricks on me, yung gusto kong mangyari ang ipinapakita; Lorraine being here, comforting and taking care of me.

"Lorraine" I uttered when I calmed a bit "I know I'm the most stupid f^cking asshole. I don't deserve you but I want to be selfish, kahit sa panaginip nalang please be mine again. Please don't leave me" I pleaded, "I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry! Please!"

"Oh Lester" She's crying. Great! I made her cry again. She placed her hand on my cheek and I lean on her touch. She feels so real.

"I love you. We make mistakes, We regret decisions but those happens to make us realize, to learn and to make us a better person." She lean her forehead againts mine "I love you" then slowly, I felt her lips touch mine.

After a few seconds we pulled away then gaze to each others eyes. Her eyes are red from crying, wala siyang make up pero napakaganda niya pa din.

"Are you really here or I'm just dreaming?"

"I am really here. Hindi ka nananaginip, Lester." She has a small smile

"Hindi kana galit saakin?" Umiling siya, my heart dropped. Of course galit pa rin siya, what you did was unacceptable Lester!

"Galit. Pero, for the past few days na napagisa ako. Nakapag isip ako. I somehow understood why you did what you did" hinaplos niya ang pisngi ko "Galit ako pero mas nangingibabaw ang pagmamahal ko kesa sa galit na nararamdaman ko. If I let my anger eat me, mas madaming oras uli ang masasayang. I don't want that to happen. We've lost more than a year already and I don't want another day to go to waste"

"Galit ako, pero I forgive you. Huhupa din tong nararamdaman kong galit. But the thought na hindi kita papatawarin at maghihiwalay tayong tuluyan breaks me even more. Ansakit ng naranasan ko sa nagdaang taon, and I want us to start again. Rebuild our marriage"

"I'm so sorry. Patawarin mo ako kasi naging mahina ako, naging tanga. I'm sorry that I doubted you, I became irrational th-" naputol ang aking pagsasalita ng halikan niya ako sa labi.

"Just promise me, no more secrets nor lies."

"I promise. No more. No more hesitations and insecurities" Smiles crept to our faces

"No more." we both said at the same time

We sealed it with a kiss.