The Secrets That Save Us

Epilouge

Cole
8 years later

The sun beams down as we all gather in my parents backyard.

I sit on a chair beside my Dad and I can't help but bask in just how fucking lucky I am.

I used to feel like I shouldn't be here, like my very existence was a poison slowly infecting the people I love, now I realise I was the only person who felt that way.

It took me a long time to accept I wasn't responsible for Josh's death, or for Grace's rape, but I finally understand that those things, as awful and heartbreaking as they were, they weren't my fault or my burden to carry.

I smile at my wife as she joins us back in the garden after putting our three year old down for a nap in my parents spare room. Or as they call it 'the grandbabies room.'

It took a while for Kaylie and I to work through all of our issues together but I soon realised I would rather struggle through it together than without her.

It still hurts me that I missed the first four years of Tyler's life, but we've still got the rest of his life to go. I understand Kaylie had her reasons and what's done is done. We got married when Tyler was seven and I've never looked back.

Tyler is almost a teenager now and I can see how the years run away from you. He's getting more handsome and tall as the days go on, he's smart as a whip and loves basketball so I have high hopes for his future and I can't wait to be a part of it. He's also the best big brother to his brother Josh and his baby sister Ellie.

We spend most Sundays at my parents place. All of us Andersons, together as a family and I never thought I would say this but I absolutely love it.

My Dad usually does a barbecue while my Mom and Eva, Kaylie and Hunter's Mom try to help. I say help they usually drink wine and tell my Dad he's doing something wrong, although he never complains, only smiles and offers them more wine.

I once asked him why he doesn't just tell them to leave him to it every time they criticise him or offer advice, he said "Son, you heard the saying happy wife happy life? Do you want to argue with your mother because I sure as shit don't. Besides if she drinks enough wine I'm pretty much on a promise."

Aside from the last part of that statement that made me cringe at the thought of my parents still doing it, I get it. I certainly have a happier life when I've got a happy wife.

Parker certainly didn't get that memo though, he's currently arguing with his own wife, Chloe, about who's turn it is to change their six month old's dirty diaper. "You should see to Lily, Max is fast asleep on me right now." Parker argues, trying to use their sleeping four year old as a good enough reason to get out of diaper duty.

"Dude, man up." Joey tells him. Him and Brooke got married when Cody was three, shortly before they found out they were pregnant with their second child, another boy, Dillon. Apparently they have no control or any concept of contraception when they're drunk because after a night out a year after Dillon popped out they found out they were pregnant with Callum. Joey says he's aiming for a football team, Brooke says he's 'fucking crazy'. I have to agree with her.

"I am not touching that!" My five year old niece Aria states with her arms folded and a stern look on her face. Tyler and Cody are trying to get her to hold a snail they found, clearly they have no chance. I chuckle to myself as I recall me and Parker doing the same thing to Mia. Aria's like Mia in so many ways, especially her enormous attitude. Nate's got his work cut out for him with that mother and daughter duo.

The only ones missing today are Grace and Hunter who are currently on there own honeymoon. I have to say, I honestly didn't think I would see the day they actually tied the knot, but apparently on vacation in Jamaica they did. A small private ceremony that would have suited them perfectly. My Mom and Eva weren't too pleased but they pacified them with a small ceremony in this very back yard once they came home. They then decided another holiday was in order to act as a honeymoon. They're trying to travel as much as possible before settling down, buying a house and starring a family. Hunter also now owns half of the garage as he turned out to be the best apprentice I could of hoped to have.

I look at every one laughing and chatting amongst themselves, the new generation we've begun and I smile as I sip my beer.

This family, that once was full of individual, broken pieces. Full of secrets from each other and our better halves, our inner demons and sorrow eating away at us, we came together and are now one whole unit, full of love and laughter and I wouldn't wish to have anyone but these bunch of morons as my family.