The Secrets That Save Us

Chapter 24

Kaylie

By the time we get home from the hospital all three of us are exhausted.

Cole and I never mentioned the whole Tyler calling him "Dad" thing. I don't think either one of us would even know what to say to that or how to approach it so we both kind of pretended it didn't happen. We also ignored it again when we went for ice cream and Tyler told the lady serving us his Daddy was treating him to ice cream for being a big brave boy after hurting himself at school.

When we tuck Tyler into bed and he says goodnight Mommy and Daddy I finally give into curiosity.

"Hey buddy, I have to ask, why do you keep calling Cole Daddy?" I ask him gently. Cole stiffens beside me and I'm almost certain I can hear him holding his breath.

Tyler looks confused, "I asked my teacher at school why I don't have a Daddy and all the other kids do, and my friend Leon told me he didn't have a Daddy for a long time until his Mommy got married again and he said a Daddy is someone who loves you and looks after with you and sometimes lives with your Mommy, so I thought that was Cole?" his innocent explanation for his sudden change in family set up makes my heart clench almost painfully.

"Do I have to go back to calling you Cole now?" Tyler's sad little voice makes me look towards Cole and gauge his reaction. I can tell he's still uncomfortable with it but the look of adoration on his face tells me he isn't going to crush this four year olds hopes.

"Nah bud, as long as your Mom's cool with it you can call me whatever you like." Cole tells him.

Tyler looks at me and I give him a small smile and nod, damn kid, how am I supposed to say no to that?

We say goodnight to Tyler and head back along the hall to the living area. We sit side by side on the sofa and Cole lets out a big sigh, "What a day huh?"

"I know, so, did you really break your leg?" I ask.

He laughs. "Yep. Parker pushed me off a swing the dumbass." He shakes his head recalling the memory. "Tyler really damn near gave me a heart attack today."

"Yeah, kids do that." I chuckle, "good thing his hero came to his rescue though eh?" I smile at him.

Cole tries to hide his smile, "I'm gonna have to give him a lesson in superhero's if he counts me as his, clearly you've been teaching this kid nothing about the marvel universe." He tries to joke but I can see how much my words meant to him.

I place a gentle hand on his thigh that's resting beside my own leg causing Cole to look at me, "I'm being serious. He thinks the world of you. You've done so much for both of us Cole, and you really came through for us both today. Nothing like the kid I remember before I left." I meet his eyes with my own so he knows how sincere I'm being.

"He's a great kid" he tries to change the subject and looks away, "and look, if you're not comfortable with this whole "Dad" thing I can talk to him.."

"No." I cut him off. "I mean I get his reasoning and to be honest I couldn't think of anyone more fitting for the role."

"I could" he mutters and rubs a hand over his face, "Kayles, what are we doing?" He asks as he gets to his feet.

His question throws me, "What do you mean?" I stand up to meet his eyes.

"This" he gestures between the two of us, "Playing house, pretending like Josh isn't actually Tyler's dad and I am. It's not right. It's not fair on Josh."

I place a hand on Cole's face, I have to tread lightly here or he's gonna shut down, I can practically see his walls going up right in front of me. "Hey," I pull Cole's face gently until he's looking into my eyes, "We both loved Josh, but he's gone, he's been gone a long time and it's not being unfair to him for us to move on with our lives, you think he'd want you to live the rest of your life punishing yourself?"

He looks me dead in the eye, "He should, 'cos it's my fault he died."

"How can you even think that? It was nothing to do with you." I place both hands on his face and force him to look at me, "You hear me? there was nothing you could have done." Before he has a chance to argue with me I reach up and place a soft kiss on his lips.

I look at him and search his face for any clue to how he's feeling, His expression is blank and I slowly lower myself from my tip toes to my feet and move my hands to rest on his chest. He seems to be having some kind of internal war with himself before he makes his mind up.

He wraps a strong arm around my waist pulling me into him before his lips come crashing back to mine. Our lips move together so passionately a slight moan escapes my mouth.

Cole pulls his lips from mine and we're both panting, staring into each others eyes, he's searching my eyes for something and his own raw emotion shining through his own is almost too much for me to bare. I don't know whether to cry from the look of torment on his beautiful face or whimper from the loss of contact from his lips.

"You sure about this? there's no going back if you say yes." Cole tells me, his voice husky and barely restrained.

"I don't wanna go back, I wanna move forwards." I tell him honestly.

Apparently that's all the confirmation he needs as his mouth is connected to my own once again. His hands roam my body before settling on my waist. We pull apart again but only for Cole to take my hand and lead my into his bedroom.

Once I'm standing at the foot of his bed I begin taking my clothes off as he pulls his Tshirt over his head. I've seen him topless before but this is different. He's always had a good body but he's definitely all man now.

He climbs slowly on top of me propping his weight up on his forearms, he leaves another lingering kiss on my lips before moving to my neck. He leaves a trail of kisses all the way down my body, the skin burning wherever he's touched leaving me aching for more.

He makes his way down my body, aiming for my heated core, "Cole" I stop him before he continues north. He looks up at me with concern, no doubt thinking I've changed my mind. "No foreplay, not tonight, I just need you." I tell him.

I've waited too long for this, I can't wait any longer. A cocky grin takes over his face as he makes his way back up my body so we're eye level again. "Yes ma'am" He pulls a condom from his bedside drawer before positioning himself at my entrance, he pulls my leg up against his waist before gently running a finger through the folds of my sex.

My breath hitches as he brushes gently over the bundle of nerves that are aching for him. His cocky smirk only widens when he feels how ready I am for him and if that damn smirk isn't the sexiest fucking thing I've seen in a long time.

He holds eye contact as he slowly pushes into me, further and further. I cry out as his size stretches me. The pleasure takes over my body as he pulls out and pushes back in again. Soon we're in sync with each other, writhing and moaning in pure pleasure.

He's not much of a talker during sex and that's fine by me, I'm too consumed in this feeling of ecstasy building to even think about forming a coherent sentence right now. 

The feeling becomes too much and soon I'm exploding around him as he's emptying himself into the condom, not looking away from each other the entire time.