The System

Chapter 73

Jason's pov

I went back to the youth center with Brandon. Max thought to try a therapy session, help him work through all that anger and agression. I was worried for him and even worried for what Britt will say when I talk to her. Gosh I wish like heck I could adopt every kid in the world. But Brandon needs me. And I don't know I guess part of me needs him. I have the same connection with him that I felt with Miranda when I first met her. I'd been putting off having this conversation with her for three days. The door opened and Brandon walked out, looking nervous. "How'd everything go?" I ask worried. "Can we just go home?" He mutters, walking passed. "What happened?" I whisper worried. He sits in the chair with his head in his hands. The psychiatrist wants to talk to me. "He's got survivor's guilt. He blames himself for his parents' deaths. It can eat someone up inside." And he's been feeling that way for 10 years. "He doesn't think he deserves to have a family." What?!! I'll show him he does. I worriedly pull out my phone. "I've got to make a call." I walk out. "Hey kid. Let's say instead of heading back to the youth center we go to the arcade. I bet you can beat me at pacman?" He rolls his eyes. "Have you ever even played?" "Once when I was like eight, I played with my younger brother Danny. He.... Well he kicked my ass." I say, laughing. Brandon laughs and I give him fifty bucks. "Knock yourself out while I order a pizza." I say, pointing over my shoulder at the food line. He waves nervously. "Hey I'm not going to leave you." "OK." He disappears into the crowd of kids and teens. I nervously call Britt. "Hey hun any chance we can talk about something important?" "Yeah what's up? Just taking care of the triplets so Miranda and Garret can go on a date. Is everything okay?" "Yeah I just wanted to talk to you about this boy at the youth home. I've been trying to get him on the right track." She stays quiet for a little bit then says, "Is everything alright?" How do I say this? I don't want her to be upset. I'll just say it. "Britt I think we should adopt him. He needs me and he needs the stability of coming home to a family who loves him. Who... Who won't abandon him." "Jason, the next time this comes up, can it be a girl? I'm so damn outnumbered." She says, almost making me bust out laughing. "You are okay with this?" She laughs softly. "Of course I'm always happy to grow our family. I love you and your big heart." "But before you said that stuff about not-" "I meant at that time. Everything was hectic and we couldn't add to our plate at that time. We're in a better place now. I'm waiting for the next headline to say 20 kids!" She is honestly the perfect woman. She makes me so happy. "Oh also Chris's college graduation is next week." "Awesome. Can't wait hun." I say, glad to have such a woman. I get off the phone and take a deep breath. I turn around and my whole body tenses. Standing behind me is Brandon, his jaw dropped. "W-What..." He shakily choked out. "Y-You.... You want to... Adopt me?" I was about to say something in response when he suddenly looked angry. "You just feel sorry for me. You fucking pity me. That's all it is!" He growls, clenching his fists. "Wait! That isn't it at all! I swear!!" "Why would you want me? Other than for pity or to add another fucking notch to your kid belt?!!" Oh my God. No! He furiously spins around angrily and starts to stomp off but I grab his wrist. "Brandon it isn't like that. You've got to believe me!" He pulls free. "I can't and won't be used again." What do I do? What do I say? "That's what I thought." He griped, walking away. "Brandon, wait! Please! I promise I am not using you. You're my son!" "NO I'M NOT! DON'T SAY THAT! DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT! THEY DIED AND IT WAS MY FAULT! YOU DON'T.... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT.... WHAT IT'S LIKE!! YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!" "I don't... I haven't been in your place and no I can't understand the pain you're going through but I'm not using you and I'm not pitying you. All I want is to give you the family and love you deserve." "You're an idiot. I don't deserve that. Not after what I've done." I quickly walk over and pull him into a tight hug. "It's not your fault." "Yes it is." "No it isn't. I'm not going to let you go. You are my son now whether you like it or not. What happened ten years ago was an accident. The only one who blames you.... Is yourself." He stared at me in absolute shock then sadness. "B-But I... They-" "They love you and so do I. They don't blame you. I know they would want you to go on living instead of dying slow in a living hell. You deserve a second chance at life and here's the funny thing kid. I'm the dealer and I won't let you fold." He started to cry and I held him tight. "In the poker game of life, you can't fold." He shakily whispers. I force a worried smile. "Yep, and I've still got a few aces up my sleeve. Come on kid." I take him back to my truck. "Why do you want me?" He shakily asks. "I've been asked that by so many kids and honestly there's no answer. It's not a reasoning. It's just life. Not every question has an answer." He stared at his feet and I felt so bad for him. "Brandon you need to forgive yourself. Trust me you will feel a million times better." "Everything went bad after that day. Every bad thing in my life was because of that day." I park at the cemetery, worried for the poor boy. He looked scared. "Well kid, your life isn't over yet. It's just getting started." We walk to his parents' graves. "They don't blame you." I say, hugging him sideways. "They want you to be happy." "Hey mom and dad... It... It's been a while. I.. I'm sorry. I know I messed up but..." A fierce look crosses his face which makes me glad as he says, "But I'm ready to finally.... Let go. And.... Be happy." He looks up at me and smiles. "Thanks for believing in me... When I didn't even believe in myself." I Hugh him tight. God I love my life.