Chapter 17.

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Maya's POV 

These boys are insane. If they have changed it's probably in the way that they are more crazy now than how they were before. They made me stay with them for the whole week and let me have my own room so I would feel comfortable. They told me that maybe if I remembered how it was to be with them, I'll want to go back home. So I thought I might as well give it a chance. 

I saw how everything worked, how they were shooting Bon Voyage while I was there with them. I told them I didn't want to appear though and they were okay with that. My voice may be in some parts of the clip, but they all accepted that I didn't want to show my face. 

"LET'S GOOO!!" J-hope said as he went running towards the van, the rest of us laughing as Jungkook jumped to Hoseok's back. "Maya will come with us!" 

"YES!" Jimin said as he came to me and put his arm around my shoulders. "You'll have so much fun!" 

"I've never been camping before." I confessed. We are going camping for tonight and I have no idea how we are going to sleep. There's a tent, the van and the car, so who knows how everything is going to turn out. 

"Well it's fine, we can help you." Namjoon said. "We are masters by now." 

"Oh don't lie to her, from everyone here you are the worst one at camping." Suga replied "He always breaks the tent if he even tries to help." 

I saw Namjoon rolling his eyes and I laughed a bit at his reaction. 

"Best group in the van!" Hobi said excitedly as I saw Jungkook seating in the drivers sit. 

"Wait, why is Jungkook driving if he's the youngest one?" I asked. 

"What? Don't you trust me?" 

"Not really." I said as I laughed a bit making it obvious that I was joking. 

"HEY!" He said and acted offended as he playfully slapped my arm. 

"Let's go!" Jimin said as he helped me get on the van. The both of us sat on the back with Taehyung, while Hoseok was shotgun. 

"I'm gonna put some music." Taehyung said as soon as Jungkook started driving. The other car following us. 

"Nice!" Hoseok said as he looked back at me and I smiled at him, reassuring him that I was fine. I just knew that with his eyes he was asking me if I was okay. 

We just have that connection.  

눈을 뜬다 어둠 속 나
심장이 뛰는 소리 낯설 때
마주 본다 거울 속 너
겁먹은 눈빛 해묵은 질문


Answer: love myself, began to play in Taehyung's speaker, Jimin started singing and somehow, all of us knew he wanted it to be a sing off session. So the rap parts were sang by Hoseok and I was so impressed. I must admit, I know the song, I've heard it a million times but they don't have to know that I was such a big fan. 

They might think different of me if they knew I was a fan of them and they had helped me before with their music. Specially this song. 

어쩌면 누군가를
사랑하는 것보다
더 어려운 게 나 자신을
사랑하는 거야
솔직히 인정할 건 인정하자
니가 내린 잣대들은
너에게 더 엄격하단 걸
니 삶 속의 굵은 나이테
그 또한 너의 일부 너이기에
이제는 나 자신을
용서하자 버리기엔
우리 인생은 길어
미로 속에선 날 믿어
겨울이 지나면
다시 봄은 오는 거야


차가운 밤의 시선
초라한 날 감추려
몹시 뒤척였지만


저 수많은 별을
맞기 위해 난 떨어졌던가
저 수천 개 찬란한
화살의 과녁은 나 하나


You've shown me I have reasons
I should love myself
내 숨 내 걸어온 길 전부로 답해
어제의 나 오늘의 나 내일의 나
I'm learning how to love myself
빠짐없이 남김없이 모두 다 나


정답은 없을지도 몰라
어쩜 이것도 답은 아닌 거야
그저 날 사랑하는 일조차
누구의 허락이 필요했던 거야
난 지금도 나를 또 찾고 있어
But 더는 죽고 싶지가 않은 걸
슬프던 me
아프던 me
더 아름다울 美


그래 그 아름다움이
있다고 아는 마음이
나의 사랑으로 가는 길
가장 필요한 나다운 일, eh
지금 날 위한 행보는
바로 날 위한 행동
날 위한 태도
그게 날 위한 행복
I'll show you what i got
두렵진 않아 그건 내 존재니까
Love myself


시작의 처음부터
끝의 마지막까지
해답은 오직 하나


왜 자꾸만 감추려고만 해
니 가면 속으로
내 실수로 생긴
흉터까지 다 내 별자린데


You've shown me I have reasons
I should love myself oh oh oh
내 숨 내 걸어온 길 전부로 답해


내 안에는 여전히 oh oh oh
서툰 내가 있지만 oh oh oh


You've shown me I have reasons
I should love myself oh oh
내 숨 내 걸어온 길 전부로 답해 oh oh oh
어제의 나 오늘의 나 내일의 나
I'm learning how to love myself
빠짐없이 남김없이 모두 다 나


"You definitely knew the song." Jimin said while looking at Taehyung's phone, trying to look for another one. 

"Who are you talking to?" Taehyung asked him. 

"Maya, duh, she knew the song." With that Hoseok looked back at me in shock and I could even see Jungkook looking through the review-mirror at me in surprise. 

"Why didn't you sang it with us?" Hoseok asked "I feel offended." 

"I did not knew the song..." I said as I tried to act innocently but they've seen right through me. 

"You were moving your lips in the chorus. You knew it." Jimin said as he shrugged his shoulders as if it was no big deal that he was looking at my lips. 

"You looked at her lips?" Jungkook asked and I don't know if I'm looking into it too much, or overthinking it, but I felt a little bit of jealousy in his voice. But that's impossible. 

"What? It was inevitable when everyone else was singing and she wasn't. Chill."  

Taehyung snorted a bit as he shook his head. "Okay let's see if she also knows this one." Damn it, now I won't be able to even do the mimics of the words with my lips for the rest of the songs. 


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