The fosters: Callie's change

Chapter 9: family fights

Trigger warning; this chapter contains self harm and talk of suicide
Mariana's POV
I was laying in my bed staring at the ceiling thinking of all the stupid decisions I made. First everything with steam, then mat, then nick and now Callie. No one was ever going to forgive me. How could anyone forgive me if I didn't forgive myself? Everyone keeps telling me it isn't my fault but it is. This whole friggen situation is my fault. I saw my razor sitting on my dresser and thought about cutting. I needed some type of release. I slowly removed the blade and lifted my sleeve. I made 3 fresh cuts and it felt amazing. My pain was now physical. I made 1 more cut and put the blade back. This was better than any other pill. I thought about ending all the pain that night but I needed Callie to know I was sorry. Even though I apologized that wasn't good enough. I needed to do more. I cleaned my arm up and went to bed. I will talk to Callie in the morning.
Callies POV
i woke up the next morning and tried to read the time from the clock on the wall but it was all blurry. Argh. What the hell, I thought. Thanks for all this Mariana. Lena woke up and came down to my side. "How did you sleep last night baby"? She asked. "Good" I said. Even though I slept well I wasn't feeling good. My head was throbbing and I was feeling sad. What was the word? Depressed. I felt depressed, but I also felt very angry. I wanted to hit something but I didn't have the strength too. I sat up and swung my legs to the side of the bed. My knee was also hurting and I saw two big bruises on both legs. I know Stef is sorry but I was still angry about it. It made me lose trust in her. Lena and Stef sat in front of me and said we needed to talk. What if they were going to reverse my adoption? Or send me away? What was happening? Lena started speaking "so today we were supposed to send you to a rehab facility but mom and I have decided against that. We want you here with us. I took a leave of absence from work and will be doing PT with you everyday. How does that sound"? It took me a second to register what she was saying. "You're keeping me? Sounds good". I said. "Of course we are keeping you baby. We just want you to get better" Stef spoke. For the first time in however long I felt good. Even though it was a temporary feeling it was a good one. It was getting easier to stand on my own but I still needed moms help. Once standing I began walking to the table to eat breakfast and my head felt heavy. I didn't want to tell them though because I didn't want to get sent back to the hospital. I was allowed home and I didn't want to be sent back. I sat at the table and my body was on fire. Everything was hurting so bad that I felt nauseous. I took 2 of 3 bites and put my fork down. I was done.
Jude's POV
as we sat around the table eating I could tell Callie wasn't feeling well. She was deeply breathing and it looked like she was going to get sick. I knew she wasn't in the mood for talking but she needed to eat. "Callie you love eggs and bacon why aren't you eating" I asked, searching for answers. Was something wrong   Or was she simply not hungry. "Jude shut up" she yelled slamming her fist against the table. I felt tears start to form in my eyes but I quickly wiped them away because I didn't want her to see me cry. I knew it was just a symptom of her TBI but she has never yelled at me before. Lena decided to let her take a break outside and walked her to the backyard. "Is she ever going to be normal again" Mariana suddenly asked. "I don't know love. There are so many unknowns with TBI's. She is most likely going to have anger and impulse control problems for the rest of her life and we just have to deal with it. She is going through a lot, both physically and emotionally and all we can do is be there for her". Stef said. This is when I became infuriated. Callie was going to have a lifetime of issues because Mariana had to take Jesus's pills. "You know if you never took those pills Callie wouldn't be in this situation. You changed her forever because you are so fucking selfish and only think about yourself. I wish it was you" I said storming off. Stef yelled for me to come back and apologize but I didn't care. I hated Mariana in that moment. The one stable thing Callie has had her entire life is her independence and Mariana took that away all in the course of 5 minutes. I didn't care if I ever saw Mariana again. I didn't want to be in this house anymore.

A/N: thank you all for your suggestions for the previous chapter but I'm having a little bit of writers block. A suggestion for the next chapter would be so much  appreciated!