Trying to be strong

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"Eliza?" It's Revel. He hears my footsteps stop in front of the door but I don't say anything.

"Eliza, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean for that gun to burn you. I also didn't mean to scare you and knock your head against the window. I'm also sorry about everything that happened with Collin. I couldn't drive anymore because they shot my shoulder."

He's about to continue but I open the door. He looks at me, panic evident on my face.

"Are you okay? Where'd you get shot? Where's the wound? Is it cleaned well? Get in here."

He walks in and I close the door behind us. He sits on my bed.

"Calm down, I'm fine. I got shot in the shoulder, it's not a big deal. Yes, we cleaned it very well and now it's all bandaged up."

"Revel, you scared me!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too." I sit next to him and he puts his arm around me.

"How are you doing?" He asks me.

"My head hurts." I can feel him nod.

"And how are you doing mentally? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want too but I'm here if you do."

I really appreciate him.

"I'm fine."

"I don't believe you." I don't know how everyone can tell when I'm lying.

"I want to go home." I whisper and bury my face in his chest.

"I know you do, Liza." He rubs my back as I cry into his chest.

"Revel." I sob, still against his chest. "Please let me go home."

I know he won't let me, but the pain and desperation in my voice is heartbreaking. Even I can tell that.

"I'm sorry, Liza. I am so so sorry. I know you don't believe me, but I am."

"I'm trying to be strong." I whisper out.

"I know. It's okay, Liza. You don't have to be strong."

And I do. I don't stop sobbing until I fall asleep.

I curse under my breath and she shrinks into herself and looks out the window

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I curse under my breath and she shrinks into herself and looks out the window.

Why'd I do that? I'm so stupid.

After she locks herself in her room, Theo stalks into the living room and sits across from me.

"Dude, what the hell?" He asks me, a bit of anger in his words.

"Look, I feel bad about snapping at her. I just couldn't listen to her asking what she did wrong anymore."

"Why? Because you know she did nothing wrong and you feel bad, or because you thought it was annoying?"

I glare at him. "Watch your mouth, Theodor. I am still your boss."

"I thought you were my friend first." He shoots back.

I always tell them I'm their friend first. I am. What is wrong with me today?

That video is messing with my head.

"Just go to bed." I say, the words unintentionally coming out harsh.

"Is that an order?" He's really testing my patience today.

"Yes." I snap at him.

He stands and hesitates, as if he was going to say something, but then he just shakes his head and walks away.

I can sense Natalie watching me through the doorway.

"What?" I ask and she walks in.

"You're not winning any awards today."

I don't need this shit right now.

"Go to bed, Natalie." Of course, she has to test my patience.

"You're not my boss, Collin. I don't have to listen to you. Why are you being such a dick? Is it because you feel guilty? You should. Her sisters miss her and you-"

I stand quickly and tower over my sister.

"Actually, I am your boss. You may not have willingly joined my gang but you were born into it and there's no leaving it. The only way out is to die, and I won't kill you. Yes you do have to listen to me. One, because I am your boss. Two, because I am your brother. And three, because when dad died I took over his place and now it's my job to take care of you."

Why am I being so rude today?

"So what? You're gonna be like dad now? Go ahead, Collin, be like dad. I'm right here, so what's stopping you?"

I don't do or say anything.

"You wanna be like dad, Collin? Be like dad! I dare you."

Trying to calm myself down, I ball my hand into a fist, my nails digging into my skin, distracting me.

Nat notices but doesn't know why I'm doing it. She assumes since she snapped at me about dad. She takes a few steps back and my anger leaves.

"Wait, Nat, no." She puts her hands up and I stop talking.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I know you're not like him, Collin. You're nothing like him. You're just upset. It's okay. Goodnight."

She goes upstairs and I sit down. Even though we're all in separate rooms, I just know that we can all here Eliza sobbing.

"I want to go home." She repeats every once in a while.

I grab a glass and pour vodka in it before chugging it clean.

What the hell is going on with me?

Don't let goOnde as histórias ganham vida. Descobre agora