The Taste of Silver | Fortune's Fool #2

27 | entangled in webs

The corners of her lips sunk downwards, all traces of happiness long gone from her face. "Back to normal. There it is again. Even you think I'm broken now. That I need fixing. Grab some cellotape and stick everything back together, right?" The flares of agitation in her eyes were slowly melting away, becoming replaced with sadness and dare I say it, hurt. A lump formed in my throat and I pulled my eyes away, instead staring at the computer screen reading Infertility Treatments.

Swallowing hard, I looked up. "Why don't we book an appointment to see a specialist? We can go together if you like."

Lexi shook her head. "So you're gonna make that decision for me too. After all, Lexi's body is everyone's body, right? Who am I to make a choice about what I want to do?"

I was silent for a few beats. Her reaction was disjointed and in an array. Me searching for treatments wasn't the issue here. It was the trigger for something else. "Lexi, what's going on?"

In a split second, her eyes had welled up. Standing up, I wrapped my arms around her tightly as she cried. For a few minutes, there was complete silence apart from her occasional sobs but both of us were present in the moment, whether we liked it or not.

Eventually, she lifted her head up. "Do you know what happened that day?" Her eyelashes were wet with tears making them look even longer. "Why I lost the baby?"

A feeling of dread was swirling in my stomach as I held her eyes, wet with tears, for a moment.

"Because it was taken from me," she forced out between gritted teeth. "And I wasn't even given a chance to protect it. My own child. After weeks of finding out I was pregnant, I had decided that I wanted to keep the baby. My baby. More importantly, I wanted to become a mother and I was ready to tell my parents."

"But how convenient is it that a parcel ends up on my father's desk with my ultrasound scans and medical records before I get a chance to speak to them and explain."

I felt physically sick.

"And how convenient is it that that happened to be the last straw for them. And how damn convenient is it that they decide this is the moment that they should care and start making decisions for me."

It was clear where this was going. Her voice became more throaty as she choked back a sob. "They forced me to abort and what I hate the most was that I let it happen. I protested, argued and fought with them so much. But in the end, I failed to protect my child. I should have run away."

Her hands were clenched tightly into fists. " And now I'm paying the price. I'll never have the chance to be a mother again. I deserve it, Louisa. I really do. I've lost the right to search for treatment. The time is better spent on someone else."

I wrapped my hand around her even tighter. "Lexi, that's not true at all. Nobody deserves to go through something like this, least of all you."

My hand weaves their way through her pin straight hair as I comforted her. She mumbled something against my back quietly at her sobs eased gradually. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this. Just give me the opportunity to support you. You've been my rock for the past few months and I regret not being more aware of how you were."

"Louisa, it's not your responsibility-" she began to muffle out but I interjected.

"I know. I know it's not but I should have checked in more. But I will now. Everything's going to be okay because I'm back now."

As a calmed her down for the next few moments, only one question was lingering in my mind. How long was I back for? There was only a few weeks left of the exchange programme.