𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 || 𝐦𝐚𝐱 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝

33. Dear Rose

Dear Rose,

If your reading this it means things didn't work out, but I want you to know I'm fine. Or at least I will be.

First things first, I owe you an apology. I was a shitty girlfriend. I never should've wrote you that letter. I don't think I even wanted to break up with you I was just scared of getting hurt or hurting you. But now I've realised I've hurt us both by doing that. I hope I got to talk to you and apologise probably but In case I didn't I'm so so sorry. I never stopped liking you and regretted my decision ever since I slipped the envelope through your locker. I guess I was just scared to talk to you cause I knew you hated me. I'll never forgive myself for that, for hurting you. I just didn't know how to tell you all these things so I wrote them down, it was easier than having to face you. Truth is I love you. I always did and always will and I hope you know that.

Don't worry about me now, go live you life. And I know grief changes a person, i mean, look at me, but try and don't give up like I did. Don't do what I did and shut people out. Everyone loves you syd. They need you just like I did. You made my life so much better in so many different ways, you saved me, so keep doing that with everyone else's.

I wish things didn't have to go this way but all I want is for you to be safe, to be happy. So wherever you are, wherever I am, I'll always watch you "down from above or whatever" (or maybe from under, depending on how things go). Don't forget about me, but don't let this hold you back. You deserve so much more than you get from this world.

Truth is, this is a lot harder than they make it seem in the movies. I really don't wanna go but... well unless we figured something out it looks that way, but I'll never forget walking into school that first, and felling so happy that I wasn't the only new girl. The first time we went to the arcade together. How somehow you bet me on most games every single time. All our shopping sprees, especially that one with el. Me trying to teach you how to skateboard but you just failing miserably. That day in the hospital bathroom. All our dates and begging Steve and robin to give us a lift home.

So now go live your life, for me, as my final wish or whatever. Go curl up and watch the karate kid and grease and sing for both of us. I'll always love you, no matter what okay? And I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry syd. Never forget that.

I love you,
Max

That's it for another like ten years. Thank you all so much for reading. Please follow for anoncements and read my other books. I'm working with a few different ideas that I'm really excited about! I'm not sure what to say so until next time.