Those Obnoxious Dragon Balls

Chapter 2: Wedding Crashers

Approximately a week had passed since the conclusion of Goku's tag match against Lum. After wrongfully assuming that the two of them were married, she and Mr. Invader left to retrieve an Alien Registration Permit from their home planet, Oni. Goku, of course, had no idea what that was, but Lum seemed to look particularly excited by it. She didn't really give him much of an explanation apart from planting a small kiss on his cheek and leaving without another word.

Chi-Chi would have been relieved by their departure if it weren't for the fact that most news outlets wouldn't shut up about Lum and her newfound "relationship" with Goku for that entire week. It caused her blood to boil way more than usual, much to Goku, Ox-King, and everyone else's fear.

At the moment, her and Goku were staying at Kame House with the rest of their friends. Ox-King was busy working on the construction of their new home on Mt. Paozu, so due to Grandpa Gohan's shack being too small, they needed a temporary place to stay. Unfortunately, Chi-Chi's patience was starting to wear thin the more she heard about Lum on TV. They kept playing the same news report over and over again, and she simply couldn't take it anymore.

Well, folks. It's been exactly a week since the beautiful, energetic Oni girl, Lum Invader, left the Earth. Some have speculated that she wishes to legalize the touching marriage proposal given to our planet's very own savior, Son Goku. Those lovebirds are truly something, aren't they?" Jimmy Firecracker described on Master Roshi's TV. He was standing in front of the street Goku and Lum held their competition.

Chi-Chi, seated on the couch next to Goku, grabbed one of the cushions to suppress her anger. She bit into it as hard as possible; an action which greatly worried Goku to a certain degree.

"Hey! Those weren't cheap, you know?" Master Roshi scolded in annoyance. Chi-Chi piercingly glared at him, causing the martial arts master to wince nervously. He adjusted his sunglasses and tried to look away from her.

However, over these past few days, some people have begun to doubt the validity of this monumental event in human history. They believe that Goku and Lum's unusual abilities, including their flight, were all staged as a publicity stunt to attract tourism to Central City. One such person is self-proclaimed martial arts enthusiast and former student of the fighting dojo, Satan Castle, Mark "Hercule" Satan. Let's see what he has to say on this matter.

The camera moved over to a twenty-year-old man with a black afro, black handlebar moustache, and blue eyes. Fairly muscular for his age, he wore a brown martial arts gi and a white sash above his waist. He additionally wore white pants and black boots to match this outfit.

"Pfft. Get a load of this joker." Krillin snorted.

So, Mark, you..."

I prefer to go by Mr. Satan now, Jimmy. Mr. Satan proudly interjected.

Erm...right. So, Mr. Satan, you claim that Goku's martial arts talents were greatly exaggerated in his fight against Lum? Jimmy Firecracker asked.

That's right! No disrespect to this Goku character, but it was obvious that he was using a bunch of fancy tricks and lightshows to catch that green-haired girl. What looked like flying to you was probably achieved through nearly invisible wires, I think. You can even see him disappear and reappear during the moment he caught Lum's horns, if those are even real in the first place. He probably did something to mess with the cameras during your broadcast on ZTV.

Hm, interesting. There did seem to be some interference in our initial broadcast of the event, I think.

Again, it's understandable that you didn't notice. Only the most talented martial artists, like myself, could catch onto such a thinly veiled trick. Mr. Satan nodded his head enthusiastically. He then pointed directly at the camera and smirked. So, while Goku did win the 23rd World Martial Arts Tournament, he has a lot to be desired in terms of raw skill! I could have taken out that alien girl without any of those special effects he used. You've heard it here first from the future champ himself! Haha!