17. Secrets and I Love Yous

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When everyone went to sleep, Mary May and I snuck out of our room and went to the dining room where Joseph kept his own personal radio. We had it planned out where Mary would keep watch while I work the radio to see if anyone is on one of the channels. Minutes went by and my determination had slightly diminished; I heard nothing but static.

"Hurry up." Mary whispered to me as she came in the room. "Faith is in the hall. She seen me!"

"What are you two doing here? You should be sleeping." Faith murmured sleepily, rubbing her tired eyes.

"Can we trust you? Can we trust that you won't tell Joseph or John?" I questioned, turning around.

Faith nodded her head innocently in response. "I can keep a secret."

Mary May raised her eyebrow suspiciously.

"Okay. Well... We heard someone trying to talk to Joseph on his radio so we're trying to see if they need help. It could be someone out there with no water, or food. Anything. And if there is, I need to help them. I can't just sit here and let them die." I revealed to Faith, glancing at my girlfriend reassuring her that the Seed sister can be trusted. I knew Faith better than she did. "And did you see how Joseph acted earlier? He's definitely hiding something. Me and Mary May are gonna find out what his secret is... Are you in on this with us?"

Faith took it all in, pondering for a few moments. "Sure. But if he asks if I'm in on this, don't rat me out."

"And you don't be the snake, Faith." Mary May chimed in, pointing at Faith. "Joseph and John both don't need to know about this. 'Cause John would for sure squeal."

"I know." Faith nodded. "I just want to help."

"Good." I replied nonchalantly. "You keep watch while Mary May and I switch through the channels and see if we can reach somebody... And you know, I was sworn in when I first started being a cop, and that never stopped. I was sworn in with the purpose and responsibility of ensuring the safety and quality of life for the people of Hope County, and that will never ever change."

Faith and Mary both smiled down at me as I continued skimming through the CB's channels. Then Faith went outside the room to keep watch while Mary May stood beside me, watching me intently.

"Why're you staring?" I asked glancing up at my girlfriend. "Am I hot or something?"

"No doubt about it." Mary responded before placing a quick, passionate kiss to my lips. "I'm just admirin' you— your looks and your bravery. You're what a true Deputy should be: courageous, passionate, selfless, strong, and full of heart."

"I can agree with that, not trying to sound full of myself. But I know it's what I was called to do." I murmured, a small smirk of pride on my face, but my grin fell as I heard a person's voice on a channel I had just passed. Quickly, I went back to the channel I was previously on and started to speak into the radio. "Hello! Hello! Is anyone there? Can you hear me?"

There was static for a few moments that turned into a man speaking, but his words were incoherent because of the continuous humming, causing his voice and words to be very distant, not able to be heard.

"Sir! Can you please speak louder? I can't hear you! If you need help, please say something! This is the Deputy— Deputy Morgan Miller! I'm in Dutch's bunker if you need me! I have food and water, everything you can imagine! Everything a person would need to survive!"

And then there was absolute silence. I kept trying to reach out to him, but he didn't or couldn't respond.

"Fuck!" I yelled, slamming my fist into the hardwood floor, feeling nothing but anger and guilt. "I knew Joseph was hiding something. That goddamn bastard! Mary, I have to leave this bunker and save that guy!"

"Morgan, Morgan, listen. Calm down. Shhh." Mary May cooed in my ear and wiped my tears away.

I didn't even realize I was crying.

"You don't even know if they need help, honey. Just please promise me you won't go out there and risk your life." Mary spoke softly, petting my hair in an attempt to soothe me. "Please,"

I nodded my head, "Yeah. I promise."

And after a few minutes, Faith came in and knelt down beside us, "Hey, hey. You tried, Morgan. You tried. And that's what matters. You've done all you can do."

"I know, it's just... Shit." I cursed, wiping away the rest of my tears. "I know. I just don't want an innocent person to die."

"Come on, let's get ya in bed." Mary May voiced, helping me stand on my feet. "You need to rest, sweetheart."

"I'll be in my room if you need me." Faith offered with a small, genuine smile and left.

Once, Mary and I made it to our room, she shut the door and I hopped on the couch curling up in a ball. Mary laid down with me and cuddled up beside me, placing my head on her chest as she planted sweet kisses on my hair.

"I love you. And I want you to know that, Morgan. I've loved you for a long, long time. Probably since the first day I met you." Mary May confessed, pulling away while she took my face in her hands, making me look into her icy blue eyes. "Morgan, I— I've never felt this way for anyone before."

Her words warmed my heart, my cheeks turning slightly pink. "You really mean that, baby?"

"I do." Mary May replied with no hesitation, her beautiful smile giving me butterflies. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

"And you know what? I love you too, Fairgrave. More than you realize."

After a couple minutes of us just spooning, I had fallen into a much needed, dreamless, deep sleep...

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