Calilily

Angeleyes

May 20th, Saturday, 2023, 4.PM

To set a scene.

     Spencer, an abandoned porta-potty, surrounded by bramble and garbage. He stood behind it (fortunately) and vomited down the backside of the bright blue plastic. It was a mixture of highs coming and going, plus eating. As well as the settled alcohol and nausea he had felt last night coming back in full swing on this hot afternoon. Once it came to some kind of end he stood himself up straight, looked up towards the unforgiving sun and sighed deeply. He shamefully walked himself away from the dumpsters and the 'last resort' porta-potties, and back towards camp. No one had shown up yet, thankfully. He went to his car, turned it on and blasted the air conditioning. He had a warm bottle of water while he tried to settle his stomach.

     Meanwhile, everyone else was getting ready for the day. To say Spencer 'nodded off' was only a guess. Who knows what he was doing in what felt like purgatory. Of course the ladies, and Dante, were all dressed and ready. They were having their own conversations and were unaware of Spencer even being at camp. It wasn't until Oak had walked himself back to camp and happily past Dante's tent full of chatter that he noticed Spencer's car was giving off a hum. It was on? Well, there was only one way to find out. He stood and looked into the driver's side. Oak saw him in a state that didn't seem coherent. His heart sunk to his feet. He reached for the handle- it wouldn't budge. Though this jolts Spencer's head up. Who has not once, but twice, been rudely awoken today. He unlocked his car and turned it off, opening the door. Oak scolded, "Spencer. Why.. Please, stop doing that. I thought you were dead or something."
"Dead? No.. I'm alive, unfortunately."
"Well, don't say that either. You make us worried man."
"I'm fine. Just tired after eating." He lied himself out of explaining or technically sharing how awful he was feeling. As much as his friends tried to plead it seemed he'd never truly understand how much they cared about his health and wellbeing. He shrugged off this horrible way of living as if it were nothing.
 Spencer walked out to camp to all the ladies, and Dante, now dressed up and sat around the ash filled fire pit. Spencer was a bit startled at first- I mean, it was quite a sight to see. "Um.. What's happening?" Joyful looks and yays were shared by everyone but Terry, of course. Lainey replies, "I was just talking about you sweetheart." She stands, getting up and over to Spencer. She hugs him but he feels like a child in a mother's arms with how high she towered over him. Spencer gave a confused little grin, "You.. Were talking about me?" She begins to lead him over to sit with them, "Of course. I haven't seen you in a long, long time. Few years?"
"Yeah, something like that." He reluctantly sits with them all. A group this size felt like some kind of intervention. He was afraid of what was going to be dug up and forced out of him.
"Where were you?" Dante asked, and he seemed agitated, but was truly more so concerned.
"I used the restroom."
"And? Ended up in your car?"
"Well, yes."
 The tension was noticed and Janna tried to lighten it up, "We're going to go see Ryder and her group this afternoon. We all got ready so we could see them on stage before they're set and playing. So. Obviously we want you to come." That didn't seem like a question or even optional. Spencer wasn't going to be left behind. As much as Terry pretended not to care, she and Janna especially were worried about Spencer already. Now Lainey was concerned as well, "How have you been?" Then Spencer felt awkward with everyone looking at him, "I'm okay."
"But are you better?"
"I- I mean, yes?" He felt embarrassed, like Lainey was going to mention things he didn't necessarily want to talk about. "How have you been since then?" Lainey asks. Janna and Terry looked at each other before looking to Dante. They wondered if Spencer had ever shared anything about his past with Dante, and they were surprised that Lainey was so willing to console Spencer after all these years. 
 Though anxiety set in for Spencer upon that question. A horrible feeling of guilt and fear, not wanting to talk about it, himself, anything. Sure, it was a harmless conversation and normally it would be a relief to know your friends are still caring after all this time. It's different with him- because he isn't okay and has simply lied his way through life for years, honestly decades. His mouth opens and shuts, like something was going to be said, but nothing could come out. Spencer's gaze falls, he sighs and smiles, and lies again, "I've been fine, Lainey.. But I'd be better if I got ready too. I don't want to go looking like this with you all dressed up."
     
     It was a successful distraction. All but for Dante, who was still concerned. All this seemed so direct. Like they were talking about a specific person, day, or event that happened that somehow affected the entire group. Enough so to where Spencer's friends weren't willing to talk about it to others who didn't already know, but were still constantly checking up on Spencer or reminding Spencer to care for himself. While everyone else seemed to glow at Spencer's lies, Dante saw straight through it. A small smile almost disguised as a frown was shared by both Spencer and Dante when their eyes met.
 However, Spencer couldn't hold it. He looked away in pain and Dante knew. He stood and met the opposite side of the seating to get to Spencer. "I'll help you find something quick." Dante's hand rested on his shoulder. Spencer looks up at him, nods, and looks to the girls. They approve and Terry says, "Don't take too long. We're pretty much ready." Of course, always insinuating the two were up to no good. Janna shakes her head at Terry, but Lainey continues, "Take your time dear. And I'm sorry for worrying. We love you Spencer." Terry rolls her eyes playfully and the other two scold her, and it's right back to laughs and chit-chat.

     That little comment meant a lot to Spencer even if he didn't realize it now. It felt like he hadn't heard that in a long time. However, he stood up with Dante's lead and followed him back to his own car. Apparently it's time to get ready. Dante's eager to get Spencer looking his best. Spencer chuckles at Dante's enthusiasm, "Dante, I don't have a lot of clothes."
"So? I'm sure you have something. Show me what you do have." So Spencer pops his trunk. It was organized, thankfully. After all he does live in there. It was a dark tote properly sealed, a few boxes, and a duffle bag full of barely folded clothes, in the majority of the trunk. Dante scoffs and nearly gasps sifting through. "This is it?"
"Yep, that's it."
"How much of this is even clean?"
"That's a great question."
 Silence simmers. 
"That's not a good answer." Dante says, shaking his head and trying to find something salvageable. All he finds is the same jacket Spencer had worn the other night. "It's too hot for all this." He sighs and mutters to himself, "There's nothing to work with here." He looks behind himself to Spencer standing sadly. His head was down while he shuffled around dust and dirt. Dante can't help but ask, "Where's your dirty clothes then? If these are the clean ones."
"I try to keep the dirty ones in that garbage bag."
"So, where do you put garbage?"
"Uhm.. On the floor, I guess."
 Dante was clearly processing, then continues, "I know I shouldn't ask but.. Do you live in here?" Spencer looked up, hoping to see some expression from Dante but it was just stern and blank. He wasn't sure how to lie to him so he told the truth. As embarrassing as it was to him, he replied, "Yes, I do."
"And when's the last time you took a shower?"
 Spencer scoffs a bit, grinning as if it wasn't a serious question but Dante wasn't joking. That smile fades and he sadly has to stand and think. "Is it Friday?"
"Oh god." Dante shakes his head, rubbing his face, "No, Spencer, it's Saturday."
"Then I think Wednesday."
 While Spencer saw it as embarrassing, Dante found it extremely upsetting. I'm not going to say Dante was brought up in a traditional household full of luxuries. Nor did he continue to live an amazing lifestyle. Though he never had to live homeless, with no source of water, or out of a car, out of a trunk.. This was all hard to even imagine.