Professor, Professor || BWAM

the thirty-third.

Adeola breaks my routine without even wanting to, without even trying.

I've gone to sleep hours after my bedtime for five consecutive nights now.

Even when I do go to bed at an appropriate hour, I find myself thinking about her so much, replaying our conversations, and cursing myself for stuttering or having said something dumb.

But the thing about my routine being broken now is that it doesn't bother me. I genuinely do not care.

I don't feel an impending sense of panic anymore. I want to break my routine for her.

Maybe because I know that regardless of how I walk or talk or if I've planned out the button-downs I'm going to wear for the next week, she will always be there when I log into class.

8:30 am sharp, smiling at me brighter than the sun shines with those sinking dimples. Penetrating through my skin to the spine with those scintillating eyes, and then gracing me with her presence in the night.

I toss and turn in my bed in childlike anticipation.

Of course it's impossible for me to fall asleep. All I can think about is that kiss.

If you can even call it that. In reality, it was hardly a peck.

But it seems that my body doesn't fucking understand that, for I get an erection every time I think about it as if I were a damn teen on the cusp of puberty. It's humiliating, really.

Much to my displeasure, I was forced to wash away her scent and her sweet vanilla lip gloss when I made wudu before bed.

But her aromatic essence still perfumed my sheets and duvet.

I inhale deeply, remembering how her stunning form wriggled beneath them and consequently, thinking of the things I wanted to do to her between them.

I remember how her breasts pressed against me when she hugged me. Her soft lips caressing my cheeks with kisses that left a syrupy trail.

How her warm breath stroked my temple as she breathed her sweet words into my ear.

I really like you a lot, Zaain.

Oh, my name. Never have I liked my name more than when it was on her tongue.

I'd like to taste my own name off of her tongue, letter by letter.

Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!

Who is at my door at this hour?

I ignore it, assuming that whoever it may be will go away and-

"Dr. Kazem?" a beautifully familiar voice calls, "Are you here?"

I jump out of bed and hurry to open the door.

I squint my eyes, "Adeola? What are you doing here?"

"Dr. Kazem! I'm sorry for coming down here so late but I just felt so embarrassed for what I did and I wanted to formally apologize. I'm so sorry!"

"Okay, okay! Why don't we just talk about it tomorrow? You really shouldn't be here. It's very, very late and I need to go back to bed." I return to my bedroom expecting her to have left by the time I even make it back to my bed but she hasn't.

She appears at the threshold of my bedroom door. It's dark so I can only make out her silhouette.

"I'm sorry if I woke you." she sighs.

"Adeola," I sit on the edge of my bed, "it's fine, you don't have to apologize. It's best we just don't talk about it again and move on. But you can't just come over unannounced and definitely not past midnight."

She starts to make her way towards me, "I contacted the department head and resigned from my job."

No...

"Adeola...but why? Were you that embarrassed? It's okay, we can just move on. We never have to talk about it again. But I wish you wouldn't have done that. I really enjoy having you around."

She descends onto my lap, "I had to quit. Because if I didn't... I wouldn't be able to do this," she bends forward and kisses me deeply.

I fall into her, taking in her sweet vanilla lips. Her perfume swirls around me and with each breath I become consumed by its notes.

She starts to move her hips against me and I know that she can feel that boulder between her thighs.

"Dr. Kazem," she moans breathlessly.

"Yes, Adeola?"

"I like you so much."

"I like you too. I like you a lot actually."

"I want you, Dr. Kazem."

Why are you being so formal, habibti? Is it not Zaain the one that you want? Is it not Zaain the one with whom you desire to share your passion?

"Really? I...I want you too!"

She hugs her body closely to mine, burying her face in my neck, "Dr. Kazem? Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

She wraps her legs tightly around me, "Why did you molest that girl?"

My heart freezes in my chest, "W-what?"

"Miss Selassie... why did you do it? Is it because she didn't want you? Do you hate her? Do you hate women, Dr. Kazem?"

"What? No!"

"Did you think that I would never find out?" She suddenly feels heavier on my lap.

"Adeola, no! That was all hearsay. I never meant to hurt her."

"But you did..." Her hold around me tightens and I feel air escaping my lungs as if I was being wrung out by a boa constrictor.

"Love, unwrap your legs, please. Adeola- ah, you're hurting me. Please stop!"

"Is that how she told you to stop?" she looks me in my eyes now and it is not Adeola but Miss Selassie's face on Adeola's body staring back at me.

My throat tightens and I can only squeeze out a few words at a time, "Get...off...of me!"

My vision grows spotty and I feel it impossible to breathe. My breath continuously catches in my lungs but it cannot escape.

I do everything in my power to unbuckle her legs from around my body but my arms feel like cooked linguine.

She looks at me in amusement as I struggle, "Kazem. Dr. Kazem!" she calls playfully.

She grabs my face and starts to scream in short intervals directly into it. Her scream is excruciatingly egregious. She produces a sound not possible by human means.

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" she shrieks, "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

I jump up in bed and turn to smack off my alarm clock.

8:35 AM
(5 minutes after class starts)

Shit!

I hop out of bed and rush over to turn on the computer and I feel an uncomfortable stickiness at my groin.

I begrudgingly look down and see a sizable wet spot has seeped through my boxer briefs.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.