Subjected || Harry Styles [AU]

nineteen

She ran away from you. Anastasia was upset, she wanted space. Running away from her problems has become a normal reaction from her. I thought that this time was the same, but then sensed the great length that she was travelling and thought different.

Anastasia did not want to be near you. This was her higher need for greater space. Perhaps if I had left her outside, she would have come home eventually and felt better. Yet I cared about her too much, which I why I nicely asked Lola to leave my home and then followed Anastasia. The rain which had been gradually forming in the clouds up above would have burned me if it fell, but that did not matter to me because I was chasing after my girl.

Lola had bruised Anastasia's wrists. When I saw those marks on her skin I knew that I had behaved irrationally. Anastasia had slapped Lola in retaliation, but it was not to my knowledge. It was not my fault that I had reacted with shoving her away. Perhaps I should have realised this before I handled the situation. This fault I have taken account of.

Anastasia thinks you are a liar. I do understand her confusion. Her mind must have been clouded by so many puzzled and backwards thoughts. My intentions were good by venturing back home, but possibly I should never have left her on her own. In her eyes, I had neglected her.

She believes that you only used her for a good fuck. When those words slipped from her mouth I could not believe it at first. They seemed too disgusting to fall from her perfect lips. That statement was certainly not true and she must know that. Even if it was deep down inside of her, she must. Those words were spoken too carelessly and within the moment. She could not possibly believe that I was that harsh or that shallow. Did she?

But this was all beginning to make sense. She stated that she would be supportive of my decisions. And all the while, I was utterly blinded of the fact that Anastasia cares for me so deeply. My mind was continuously racing when I finally realised... did she feel the same way as I do? I had not told her how I felt yet, but this was something else that I thought over the night before. I had established my true feelings for her. Although, I think that may be ruined now as her eyes were unable to even glance at me.

My eyes travelled across to the small pond opposite the boulder I was sat upon. I felt tired and drained mentally, and even this piece of nature did nothing to soothe my mind. With irritation, I picked up a small rock from the ground beside me and threw it. It hit one of the dark green lily pads before floating to the bottomless pit.

I lost the sound of Anastasia's heartbeat as time passed, so decided to head back towards our home. Her scent was still within the air as I moved swiftly through my garden. She had returned to the house, which I was so thankful for. I knew that she had a greater sense of judgement and would not venture out into the world on her own.

Once I reached the threshold, the house was void of any other sound except the faint gasping which could be heard from upstairs. Frowning, I ventured up the staircase and presumed that I would be entering our bedroom but became surprised when I noticed where Anastasia had gone. She was not crying in the sanctity of our room, but was lying helplessly in the room where she stayed before her trial.

She was so distraught and upset with me that she obviously could not bear being in our shared room, our room.

I was hurt by the notion and wanted to hold her in reassurance. The majority of this argument was miscommunication and bad choices on my part. I wanted to walk in there and dispute any wrong feelings she had, yet I knew that she would not listen to me. She was too emotional and exhausted.

She was lying face down on the mattress, with her arms crossed in front of her face as she leant on them. Her hair had fallen from its previous braid and it was now spread across her back. I wanted to untangle the woven strands that I knew would irritate her when she noticed them. Each shaken breath she took was like another stab to my heart. She was crying with everything left inside of her and it was entirely my fault.