Answering Eternity [SasuNaru]

[2] Night of Remembrance

[❝There is one pain, I often feel, which you will never know; for it is caused by the absence of you.❞]

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To say that Naruto was in pain would be an understatement.

Everything hurt. That was the extent of what Naruto's brain could currently comprehend; anything and everything else was easily shoved aside to make way for that blaring piece of information: Everything fucking hurt.

Naruto wanted to groan over how much pain his body—and Kurama—were currently making him suffer through. It felt worse than when Sasuke had shoved that full-blown Chidori through his chest and that was saying something.

He also wanted to curse—as he always did whenever Sasuke was brought up, it was a natural reaction by now—but, the long ingrained lessons of his childhood (and childhood trauma but, we don't talk about that) refused to let him utter a sound or even a twitch.

Keeping his breathing even (like Kurama had taught him to do after he had a panic attack when he was 5), he tries to remember where he was and how the hell he had gotten there.

The memories crashed and slammed into him without warning like Sasuke's fangirls did whenever there was a 'sighting' of the raven-haired boy.

He remembers.

He remembers running to Ichiraku's Ramen stand terrified because he was sure that Sakura was going to kill him for being late, again.

He remembers making half-assed excuses only to trail off after seeing her solemn face. He remembers the panic he felt when she asked him to sit down because they 'needed to talk.'

He remembers being worried that their friendship was going to end.

He remembers being a mixture of angry and relieved when it was revealed that the conversation was going to be about Sasuke.

He remembers being stunned when Sakura says she was going to give up on the Uchiha.

He remembers feeling betrayed when she asked him to do the same. He remembers feeling guilty (oh so guilty) when she looked at him with those pleading green eyes.

He remembers agreeing with her on autopilot.

He remembers telling her that he'd try. Not promise, try.

He remembers telling her that he had somewhere to be before hightailing it out there.

He remembers walking out the gates of Konoha because it felt like too much.

He remembers how his feet lead him to a bar that he had dragged Jiraiya out of many times.

He remembers thinking that he'd only have one drink.

He remembers feeling a bit numb by his 48th one.

He remembers feeling tired when Jiraiya asked him what he was doing there.

He remembers punching the old pervert in the stomach (and boy, didn't that feel good. The lessons with Tsunade paid off, after all).

He remembers telling the old geezer about Sakura's decision.

He remembers telling him about his messed-up relationship with Sasuke about how he couldn't live without the bastard, couldn't be himself without him, and how he told him that he—Oh.

He remembers telling Jiraiya about how he loves Sasuke.

The thought itself is so shocking that it makes Naruto's eyes snap open and he looks around wildly.