How to Date an Asshole

Chapter 67

"Alright, your total's $6.70."

I gave her my card; and as she processed my payment, she spoke, "Fine day in Santa Monica, right?"

I glanced outside and saw the beaming sun, so different from the East coast. I'm glad because it makes the holidays a little more bearable. I sometimes feel like I'm just on vacation since it's my first December without snow. I smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

"Love your necklace by the way," she complimented and my hand instinctively touched the pendant laying on my chest.

"Thanks," I tucked it back inside my shirt

"My grandma always had that kind of herb in her kitchen. What's that called again?"

I smiled, "It's Rosemary."

"Right," she nodded, finishing up the process of my payment, and then handed me back my card. "Just get yourself comfortable and I'll have your order ready in a bit."

"Thanks," I sat on the table near the window as I wait for my order.

These days, I've been trying to be mindful of my actions – staying present in the moment and encouraging myself to be back in my current state whenever I spiral into the past or overthink about the future. Some days, I succeed; most days, I don't. But I figured it's better to try than not do anything at all.

I stared out the window and saw a group of men laughing as they load case after case of booze, ready for New Year's Eve. I used to be like them. All hyped up for the new year. Hailey and I even used to make New Year's Resolutions that were never really fulfilled. But now, I don't get it. I don't get the hype; I don't understand what's so special about it. It's just another day that people chose to celebrate. 

I think the reason behind the new year's is that people are just so obsessed with labels. You have to define everything. You have to define a new year, new me, new leaf, new everything. It's funny because it isn't like something magical can happen once the clock strikes twelve. It's literally just the next day. Only humans invented the calendar – how many days it has to be to become a year and what number we currently fall into. It's kind of exhausting when you think about it.

"Here's your croissant and vanilla coffee," she placed my order on the table, snapping me out of yet another spiral.

"Thanks," I took the coffee in my hand and glanced back at the window only to see that they were already gone. I shook my head, hating the way I sounded. I sounded so bitter. Maybe I am.

I grabbed the food off the table and decided to just eat it on the walk to the shops. The holiday spirit was very much alive everywhere I walk. A little bit different, sure, but all the shops were still adorned with holiday decorations. 

The distinct sound of chimes rang as I entered the local grocery store. I have no list whatsoever; I just go with whatever I felt like. Besides, does it really matter when I go here every day?

I picked up a few items and I found myself leaning towards the booze. Maybe I'll grab a wine or two.

"Having a party tonight?" the cashier asked with a smile as she packed five bottles of Pinot.

I raised my head to her, "Uh... yeah." Yeah, a party of one.

"That's nice," she handed the paper bag. "Have a great New Year's."

"You too," I replied and grabbed my stuff.

I booked an Uber on my way out because there was no way I can take all these bottles home with me without breaking one of them. I'm just glad somebody accepted despite the short distance.