𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲 | robin buckley

(23) she's an asshole, she's the ocean

"AND WHAT ABOUT THE GUY?" Steve asked carefully, his eyes glued to Robin as she rested her head against the white tiles behind her, dotted with the occasional pastel.

"I think he's on drugs and he's not thinking straight" she replied simply.

"Really? Cause I think he's thinking a lot more clearly than usual" Steve sat up straighter.

"He's not" Robin shook her head, "Look, he doesn't even know this girl and if he did know her like... like really know her. I don't think he'd even want to be her friend"

"No that's not true" he leant forward with an expression of surprise on his face, of sympathy, of hurt. "No way is that true"

"Listen to me, Steve" Robin tilted her head to the side, "It's shocked me to my core, but I like you. I really like you"

Steve smiled, it hurt his face to do so but he didn't really care

"But I'm not like your other friends and I'm not like Nancy Wheeler"

"Robin, that's exactly why I like you"

"Do you remember what I said about Click's class?" Robin asked carefully, "About me being jealous and, like obsessed?"

"Yeah" Steve nodded, of course he did.

"It isn't because I had a crush on you" Robin sighed and Steve's eyebrows raised slightly in embarrassment that he'd gotten it wrong, "It's because... she wouldn't stop staring at you"

"Mrs Click?" Steve frowned, lost again.

"Tammy Thompson" Robin smiled as she spoke the name, "I wanted her to look at me but... she couldn't pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair and I didn't understand because you would get... bagel crumbs all over the floor and you asked dumb questions and you were a douchebag. And... and you didn't even like her and... I would go home and just scream into my pillow"

"But Tammy Thompson's a girl?"

"Steve"

"Yeah?" Steve stared at Robin, the way tears wiped the colours in her eyes, the way her mouth was slightly parted and her hands were tensed on her knees. For a moment he stared at her in confusion, wondering, questions. Then he understood.

"Oh" he spoke in realisation, "Holy shit"

"Yeah" Robin sighed, "Holy shit"

Steve fell quiet watching the freckles surrounding his wrists and nodding slowly to himself. More than anything he just felt like a bit of an idiot. Looking back, Robin had never really given any sign that she'd be into him and now his heart was cursing his own name for making her feel guilty about something she shouldn't even feel guilty about. Yet he was still confused, he didn't really understand, that didn't make it wrong. His mind ran and ran, all the while Robin sat very quiet opposite him.

"Steve... did you just OD over there?" She asked with a small, nervous laugh.

"No I just uh...just thinking" Steve replied.

"Okay"

Steve suddenly realised what an asshole he must seem like. He wanted to tell her a lot of things but he didn't want to sound like a sap or worse a stupid guy who didn't understand the gravity of what she'd just told him. Then again, he didn't understand, how could he? Steve thought about it all, the way he'd been and the person he'd become and suddenly, he realised that Robin Buckley was one of his favourite people on the planet, that this had simply opened his eyes to how amazing she was and he'd be a damn idiot to screw that up,

"I mean, yeah" Steve shrugged, "Tammy Thompson you know, she's cute and all but I mean... she's a total dud"

"She is not" Robin broke out into a smile again.