Visions of Hope

I want to start again

The room buzzed with Aizawa's words.   Midoriya's soul shattered?  He caused the other teen something that sounded agonizing.   A warm hand settled on his shoulder.

"Shoto," the voice brought him back to the present.  "It can be fixed with work.  We managed to calm him before it got too bad.  Recovery Girl has some experience with this situation. "

Todoroki looked at his teacher, waiting.  Aizawa seemed lost in memory for a bit. Then he began to explain.

"When I was your age...I had two soulmates like Bakugo," he explained gently.  "One you know...the other was a good friend named Oboro.  We started dating very quietly as it wasn't as accepted then for multiple soulmates as it is now."

Todoroki started to open his mouth to ask a question, but closed it when Aizawa held up a hand.  "No, he isn't around.  When we were on a mission...he was killed.  The two of us were there...we felt it and saw it.  Nothing happened at first except sorrow and cold."

The man bowed his head, remembering the past.  "Then we both lost it.  Our souls were both shattering from the trauma of the broken connection.  Recovery Girl had them sedate us, just like they did Midoriya.   It took a long time, but we were able to heal and start to rebound as just a pair.  Neither of us is whole anymore...but we are chipped and cracked, not shattered."

The heterochromatic boy listened, taking it in.  After a moment, he turned so he was facing Aizawa more.  "Tell me how to start to fix this," he begged.  "I want to get better and...I want my soulamte."

His teacher, and now foster father, smiled.  "First, explain to him your reaction to that moment.  Let him know the truth, not a sugar coated version.  He has seen the dark side of that man, so pretending it isn't as bad won't help.  Next, ask him to start again just like you did me.  I have a feeling he would be willing.  But be ready to give him space and go painfully slowly. "

Todoroki nodded.  "Of course," he agreed.  Aizawa started to get up when he noticed Todoroki fidgeting.  

"Yes?" The man asked, patient.

"Shinso suggested therapy for me too.  What would that be?" Todoroki asked.

Aizawa considered how to explain.  "Recovery Girl knows a therapist who specializes in psychological abuse victims.  I've met with him and explained your situation.   He is willing to meet with you to work on what your father did to you.  The best way for you to earn back your soulmate is to heal yourself.  He also suggested telling Midoriya about the current situation and,  if you are okay with it, your therapy.   It won't be easy, but it will be worth it."

Todoroki listened, feeling queasy about the idea of talking to someone about his father... but lighter as well.  He then offered a shy smile.  "And I have a family to trust...right?"

Aizawa nodded.  "For as long as you want.  Don't tell the others,  but you all are already our kids, even if we aren't seen as your parents."

The teen nodded and stood with his teacher.  "May I go speak to Midoriya now?"

The adult nodded and led the way to the nurse's office.  Todoroki could heard Bakugo threatening to beat him bloody if Midoriya wanted.  Aizawa snorted and rolled his eyes before opening the door.

"Bakugo, enough," Aizawa ordered.  "Midoriya,  do you feel up to one more guest? "

Todoroki couldn't see the other teen, but his chest burned in agony...was this was Midoriya felt?

"He can come in." The voice was raspy and sounded painful.

"Hell no!  Nerd, I swear if you are-" Bakugo's voice started.

"Kacchan,  it is okay," Midoriya rasped.  "The situation is my fault anyway."

Todoroki frowned and pushed past his teacher.  He ignored Bakugo and Inko as be moved to the bedside.  He could see in a glance how pale the green eyed boy was and how weak he looked.  Without another word, Todoroki dropped to his knees and bowed until his forehead touched the floor.

"Todoroki?" Midoriya whispered.

"I am the one at fault," Todoroki announced, lifting his head enough so he would be heard clearly.  "I wanted to feel the warmth you gave me so badly that I ignored my own issues.  I wanted to make you smile and feel safe with me, but my own faults led me to give in to my father's obsessive words.  He beat the idea that soulmates were for the weak into my head daily.  He drew blood to ensure my only goal was to be number one.  You broke his hold with your acceptance and I threw it back in your face."

Todoroki could feel the hot tears leaking from his eyes, but he couldn't stop now.  "Today...today broke the rest of his hold because I hurt the one person more precious to me than anything else.  I see how much of a failure I was for you and I beg your forgiveness.   I am going to go into therapy to undo my father's curse and I will become something worthy of you.  I...I am so sorry..."

He felt a hand touch his shoulder, but he just cried harder.  He knew that touch - it was a touch he had craved.  The hand was gentle...just resting on his shoulder as he cried and repeated his apologies.   He finally calmed down, the hand still there.

"Feel better?" Midoriya asked.

Todoroki slowly raised his head, meeting those green eyes.  "I...yes and no." 

He sat up on his knees, feeling the eyes of the room on him.  His own never left Midoriya's.   The ill teen tipped his head, reminding Todoroki of a puppy. 

Todoroki drew a shaky breath and looked away.  "I feel better knowing I have apologized for my actions, but I also dont because I hurt you.  I never meant to hurt you like I did.  I...I didn't understand how this worked and that I had messed up."

Midoriya laughed lightly, a sound that made his mother sigh in relief.  "It's okay," the boy assured.  "I made mistakes too.  I shouldn't have pushed you or agreed to moving too fast.  It made me happy you were willing to try."

Todoroki listened, feeling warm again.  "If...if you want to...can we start again?"

Midoriya smiled.  "I would be willing to give us a chance.  I...I don't think-"

Todoroki raised a hesitant hand.  "It is an honor to meet my classmate," he said, offering his hand.  "I am Shoto Todoroki,  but my foster father is our teacher, Mr. Aizawa.  I hope we can be friends."

Midoriya stared in shock, then smiled and accepted the hand.  "Izuku Midoriya.   And the angry puppy over there is Katsuki Bakugo, but I call him Kacchan.   He's my guard dog."

"Call me a dog one more time, damn nerd," Bakugo warned.  Izuku laughed again as he released Todoroki's hand.

Inko and Aizawa slowly slipped out, letting the teens interact.