𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚕𝚢 | 𝙷𝚢𝚞𝚗𝙻𝚒𝚡𝙸𝚗

31

"Do you really want me to leave?" I asked him and he didn't answer. "I'm not rejecting you."

He looked at me and sunk down on his bed. "Because you aren't confessing either."

He's right, I wasn't. But it's not like I didn't like him. There were moments between passing that I just ached for him to noticed me. I sat down next to him.

Part of me had a feeling there was an alternative reason behind his mood. Last time he confessed to someone, they used him. Minho used Jeongins emotions to his advantage like a fucking bastard.

"Jeongin." I lifted his chin up to face me and his eyes shifted to mine. "I'm not Minho."

He seemed to lean into my touch subconsciously and I moved my hand, not wanting to overstep any sort of boundary.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yea." Jeongin answered and I sat down next to him.

"When you grabbed my wrist earlier, were you about to tell me this?" I leaned forward, elbows on my knees keeping my eyes on him.

"Yea.. in a way."

"What do you mean?"

"It doesn't matter." He said, laying back on his bed, his hand reaching up to loosen his tie before folding over his stomach. Jeongin stared at the ceiling and I joined him, laying back on the bed. Our shoulders brushed together.

"I think it matters." The ceiling was white but looked gray in the dark room. I heard him sigh quietly as if he was about to say something embarrassing.

"I really doesn't because you're already silently spoken for." Two words in his statement drew my attention the most.

"What?"

"I'm not blind, I know when two people are clearly into each other Hyunjin. Like when we came home, he looked at you like he wanted to rip that suit off of you and you looked like you wanted him to."

"I di- Jeongin dont change the subject. It matters to me, so how were you going to tell me?" I rolled onto my side and he reached for a pillow to cover his face.

"It's too embarrassing to say it out loud. Can't you just let it go, I'm embarrassed enough already." His voice was muffled by the pillow, but i could hear the emotion in his voice.

"Fine. I'm sorry for pushing." I apologized as I stood from his bed and walked to his door. I looked back at him as he removed the pillow from his face. "Me knowing doesn't change anything, I want you to know that." I tried to reassure him before walking out the door.

[Jeongin]

It doesn't change anything. The way I took that sentence made my heart sink to my stomach and I felt sick.

It doesn't change anything meaning knowing doesn't effect him.

It doesn't change anything meaning he doesn't care.

It doesn't change anything meaning...

He doesn't like me back.

I wanted him to come back in here. I prayed he would and along with it a confession of his own by my praying was unanswered as I heard echoed laughter from downstairs. Hyunjin's laugh.

I sat up on my bed and frustratingly threw the pillow in my hands across my room. WHY CAN"T SOMEONE JUST LOVE ME BACK FOR ONCE?!

I felt my cheeks soak in wetness and i realized I was crying as I lifted my hand to wipe them away. I shouldn't be crying over a boy, but I thought back to the moment Hyunjin and I danced in the classroom. The way his hand held my waist was so delicate, so caring. The simple gesture of him putting forth thst effort was sweet. The way he smiled and laughed as he twirled me in a goofy way. The way he looked at me after I fell against him, maybe I imagined it all. Though, I know I didn't. If any boy was worth crying over, it would be him.