Special Operation [Rusame]

4

"If you get bored there are books on the shelf." Russia said. He was sitting in his armchair, wearring his reading glasses, holding some papers. America didn't answer. He had played every single game he had on his phone and had enough of all of them. He wanted to do something fun, like he did at home. Watch a serie on Netflix while eating popcorn, play chess with Mexico or even read something, but something that was NOT in Russian.
"I don't speak Suka Blyat." America hissed and continiued to watch memes he saved on his phone long time ago.
Russia just nod, and continued to read the papers he had.
"Some of the books are in english." He added. America turned around to look at him. Armchair was on the other side of the room than sofa, but America didn't want to face the other man so much, that he was sitting with his back to him, even tho it was very uncomfortable.
"Depends what are you into." Russia continued. "I have a book about history, chemisty, math and even Obamas biography." He said. "If you are interested in something else, I also should have something in Spanish and German." Russian added.
America though for a while.
"Why do you have Obamas biography???" He asked surprised that Russian not only knew who it was, but also had book about him.
"What do you mean? I am trying to learn about different countries and stuff. Including languages. If you want I can try to find my old Russian-English dictionary." The man offered.
"No, I don't want it! Why would I want one in a first place?" America asked offended. Russia just looked at him for a second, but reminded silent.
It didn't take 3 minutes until America changed his mind.
"Where is the history book?" He asked.
"On a shelf above TV, between cooking book and Chernobyl book." Russia explained not even bothering to look in the direction of the shelf.
"Thanks, I guess." America replyed and then went to take the book. It looked old, like it had at least 50 years.
"Don't be surprised by its age." Russian laughed. "It used to belong to my father, so if you find any notes inside, be warned that he was the one that wrote them."
America just reminded silent and opened the book. The title of the book was 'USA all you need to know about it'. When he opened it on the first page, he saw a note which said: Country full of idiots, assholes and again idiots.
"Ussr did like me for sure." He muttered annoyed, but couldn't help but smiled. "He was drunk 24/7." America said and this time Russia laughed.
At first it was small giggle but then it turned into full mode wheezing.
"Shit, sorry, I can't-." He tried to say but began to laugh again.
"What's so funny?" America asked not quite sure how he should react.
"That he was right! You believed that hewas drunk! I can't believe you fell for it." He giggled to himself.
"What the hell are you talking about?" The other man asked completely not understanding what the other ment. Soviet Union was almost always drunk. He rarely saw him sober. He was drunk during spliting Germany into 4 parts and taking East Europe under his control.
"Put the book down, let me tell you a story, about how Stalin was dealing with the shit after world war II and almost always when it came to spliting other countries in half." Russia said, while taking off his glasses and putting them on the small table next to him.
America sat down on a coach and looked at the other country who was still laughing quietly to himself.
"So, It was 1945, after Third Reich lost, Berlin got under control of Allies. There were 3 ambasses, UK's, Soviet's and American.
Soviet's and UK's were near each other, while American ambassy was far, compared to the other two. In each one lived president. I think it was in Germany but I am not sure. Anyway, during that time, even tho Allies beat the shit out of Nazists, there were still some troops that were hidden, ready to attack any second. They planned to kill American president, so Stalin offered to help him, and offered a place to stay in Soviets ambassy. It was dangerous after all to stay alone, far away from the rest, while some German soldiers were still out there, somewhere waiting for the perfect chance to attack your ambassy."
"Yes I remember that." America agreed. "After that my president agreed and became a guest of Stalin and lived in your Fathers ambassy."
"Exacly!" Russia yelled happily. "So you said he was drunk. That my father was drunk. You see. He rarely drunk. Just like Stalin. But no one knew that. So as a good host, Stalin was giving both, American and UK's president shit tons of alcohol. It was a huge fucking party. Like everyone was drunk the whole time. Everyone, except Stalin. While hus guests were drinking normal alcohol, he was drinking tea, which was dyed, do it looked like whisky. He stayed sober this whole time." Russia said and waited for America to say something, but the other one stayed silent. "Thats how he got to take 'care' of so many Eastern Europe countries. And about the Nazi troops, they never existed."
"It's not true, there are proofs." America said.
"Yeah, and who got those proofs? Wait, let me guess... Sovietssss! They have been feeding everyone bullshit. After war, turned out that there was no German soldiers such as Stalin said there were in the place where ambassys existed. But Germans went along with Soviets lie, after all it meant they were so close to murdering your president, right?" Russia said excited. "Make sence now? My father wasn't alcoholic, no, no. He was a lier, that is what he was. Lieing to all allies most of the time." Russia laughed.
(AN: This is true story. I have read about it in the book 'Spy' by Viktor Suvorov, who used to work in Ussr as a spy. I hope I didn't mess anything up while writing it down, but if u see something whats not correct please inform me.)
America stayed silent.
"Fuck." He said finally which made Russian laugh even harder.
"Yeah, I know. Shocking. But don't feel embarrased, I learned this accidently. After Ussr died, I found his journals, where was exacly written what he was doing. Thats how I found out." Russia said.
"I am not embarrased. Just... surprised... My whole life I thought that he was dumb bitch, and I just heard he wasn't as brainless as I expected him to be. It's... weird..." America said.
After that, the famous akward silence began.

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