dead wrong (l.h)

"i wasn't expecting that"

chapter sixteen
evelyn

6:53 PM
Tuesday, October 4

As I was cleaning up my kitchen after a spontaneous decision to bake brownies, I heard a knock on my front door. I hadn't been expecting anyone, so my eyebrows furrowed as I glanced over my shoulder. I stopped the running water before patting my hands dry on the apron I was sporting, and I made my way out of the kitchen and to the front of my apartment. I looked through the peephole first and was pleased to see Ashton waiting outside; with a smile now on my face, I unlocked my door and swung it open.

"Hey, Eves," Ashton said with a smile as his eyes landed on my own.

"Ash, it's so good to see you," I said as I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back and I instantly felt a wave of comfort overwhelm my being. "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

"I know, and I'm sorry about that," he apologized as we pulled away. I motioned him inside and he didn't hesitate to make his way in. "I should have come to see you the second that Luke mentioned he had left you that voicemail, and I've been beating myself up for not doing so."

"Ash, don't be silly," I told him as I shut the door behind him. "You texted me to check in... there was no reason for you to do more than that."

"But there was," Ash tried to convince me as he pulled me over to the couch. He suddenly noticed the apron tied around my waist and his brows furrowed together. "What's this?" he asked as he pulled on the fabric.

"I'm making brownies," I told him through a breathy laugh as I moved my hands to my back to undo the tie. "It's like I knew you were coming or something." Ashton let out a laugh and I smiled as I tossed the apron onto the back of the couch. I sat down beside Ashton and turned toward him as I got comfortable. "I really appreciate you coming over."

"You've been on my mind a lot, so I wanted to drop by. I just want to make sure you're okay," Ashton told me through a sigh. "You know I love Luke, and that I've remained a friend to him during all of this, but your wellbeing is still the priority, you know? And as much as I'm rooting for Luke because of his growth, I still care far too much for you to not prioritize you. I don't want you getting hurt again."

"I really appreciate it, Ash," I told him truthfully as I smiled sadly. I had always hated that Ashton had become some sort of middle man in all of this; as much as I wished he could be spared of having to deal with both of our hurt, I had always been genuinely thankful that he stayed in Luke's life. As much as Luke had ended up hurting me, I still cared for him and wanted him to have people in his corner.

"So... how have you been feeling about things?" I took a deep breath in as I prepared myself to be completely transparent with Ashton. From the day that we met, I had always felt so comforted by Ashton's presence, and it was nearly impossible to keep something from him. He had proved himself to be a vault early on in our relationship, and talking to him was always a relief. Despite Calum being my best friend, it was sometimes easier to tell Ashton things than it was to tell Calum; Ashton was just far enough removed from most situations that it felt like a breeze to tell him all of the messiest details. I wanted to be completely honest with Calum about everything, and I always was eventually, but sometimes I hesitated to open up about things that I thought might hurt or worry him.

"Conflicted would be the easiest answer," I told Ashton as I began to evaluate how I was currently feeling. "These past couple of days have been strange, to be honest, because it's like I'm having to reopen this wound that I haven't really given any attention to in a long time. And while I know that I've grown so much since everything happened last year, I think there are plenty of things that I locked away instead of really dealing with... or perhaps it's just harder to revisit those feelings and figure out how to feel about them, if that makes sense?"