A Terrific Surprise (Lord Farquaad x Y/n)

A Change of Plan

Later that evening, after a long time spent roaming the many identical streets of Duloc, Donkey, Shrek, and y/n found their way back to the entrance gate. "Are you feeling any better now Shrek?" y/n asked cautiously, knowing how devastated Shrek had felt all day since losing his swamp. "No." Shrek answered simply, his ears bending sadly down by the sides of his head. He walked to the middle of the courtyard between the gift shops and information stall and sat heavily in the dirt. The soft drone of the monorail that took visitors in and out of Duloc to and from the small neighbouring villages (Grubbs Town, Zwoddersville and Quomodocunquize) could be heard in the silence of the sunset as Donkey and y/n joined Shrek.

After staying quiet all afternoon, Shrek finally opened up a little. "I just can't believe it's gone. My swamp... My disgusting... swamp..." he said softly, looking down at his feet. Donkey put his hoof on Shrek's leg, "Aw, Shrek. You don't have to worry, you'll find yourself a new swamp, I just know it." Y/n fondly rubbed Shrek's back with her hand and said reassuringly, "I understand, Shrek. My house is gone too. We'll manage this together, I promise," but Shrek didn't respond, "How about this? I'll go and fetch some fire wood and I'll make some frog fritters. Surely those will cheer us up. And warm us up, Duloc gets cold at night." Shrek just sighed.

"Right, I'll fetch the wood then." y/n said, "Donkey, could you set up my trangia?"
"Yup!" he answered, catching her bag in his teeth as she chucked it to him. Y/n walked over to the turnstiles and pushed one but it didn't budge so she bunny hopped over it and looked out across the horse parking and into the sunflower field the trio had walked through earlier. To her left was a line of dying trees, their orange autumn leaves glowing in the last moments of sunlight. She made her way over to it and scavenged on the ground for brittle sticks and dried foliage. Once she had an armful she walked back to the entrance and ducked under, the inside of the city's walls now being completely in shadow, the sun was setting quickly. Luckily, Donkey was very well rehearsed in setting up for y/n to cook now, so the trangia was ready when she got back and began laying out the sticks and leaves for a campfire. Donkey then took his turn to run and bring back small rocks, one at a time in his mouth, to place around the edge. Pulling a box of matches from her satchel, y/n lit the fire and watched in satisfaction as Shrek seemed to lighten up, holding his hands in front of it to keep warm.

"Great, now we have a fire!" y/n said triumphantly, "But no frogs..." A sniffing sound appeared behind her. She whipped her head around to see Donkey holding his nose to the wind, then pushing it firmly to the dusty ground and following it to a stone rain gutter that ran along the edge of the city wall. Donkey had wandered fairly far now and y/n could barely see as he darted around in the water, snatching at it with his mouth. Finally, after a few minutes of this, Donkey came trotting back over to the fire, holding a frog. "Got one!" he announced through clamped teeth. He dropped the frog into the empty bowl of the trangia. Unlike usual, this frog filled the entire thing and was a deep red in colour with yellow bumps all over its back; the frogs he used to catch in the countryside were small, green, and smooth. It would have taken at least five of those to make up the space that this one did. "God, Donkey. What's that?" Donkey peered into the crock pot and raised an eyebrow, "That's a city frog," he said, nodding, "they're a bit different here to back home." It suddenly dawned on y/n that Donkey had considered the outskirts of Far Far Away as a home. If he was going to work for Lord Farquaad again just so she would have a roof over her head, he must really care for her. 

She set to work on the humungous frog as the sky turned dark, taking her small pot of oil she had brought with her out from her bag and boiling it, watching at the frog sizzled and steamed into the cold air. Once the frog had been fried on both sides, she took it from the pan and cut it into fritters, placing the parts back into the oil to finish them off. She took the pan and poured the oil on the floor away from them, then offered the pan to Shrek. "I'm sorry I didn't bring any seasoning." she apologised as he took one and bit into it. A look of astonishment appeared on his face and he looked down at the fritter, "No need! This frog tastes amazing!" Donkey snatched one from the pan and tried it, "Wowwww! These city frogs taste great!" As they both reached for another, y/n shouted playfully, "Woah! Leave a girl some, I'm hungry!" They watched as she bit into hers and her face melted, "Oh my god," she said, "these are so much better than the other ones!" They enjoyed a few more each but found that the sheer amount of fritters this single frog had produced was too much for them and slumped to the ground by the roasting fire, which was still roaring away.