A Terrific Surprise (Lord Farquaad x Y/n)

Donkey's Tail

{Two years prior}

"Look! Here comes y/n! I told you she'd get here!" The Three Blind Mice cried. They didn't get a verbal response from the rest of the fairytale creatures but, unbeknownst to them, they did receive a number of puzzled expressions.

"Hello everyone!" y/n gasped, out of breath from hiking the last stretch which was just one humongous hill. She plonked her satchel down with a clatter from the pots and pans she had brought along. "Now, who's been catching those frogs?" she asked eagerly, already setting up her trangia and pouring her small amount of sunflower oil and some herbs into the pan she had placed on top. "We all gave it a go this week, y/n!" Pinocchio announced proudly. "Aw, good job everyone!" y/n replied, taking a tiny tattered picnic basket from his wooden hands, "But I caught the most." Pinocchio clarified, placing his hands on his hips triumphantly. Unfortunately, as he did this, his nose began to grow, "Pinocchio... are you telling the truth?" y/n asked playfully, "Uhhuh..." Pinocchio squeaked back, a little quieter than before. His nose grew again and everyone started laughing. Even the Big Bad Wolf let out a chuckle! "Who really caught the most then? Because it clearly wasn't Pinocchio."

The creatures pointed behind them at a pair of long grey ears poking up from the back of the crowd. "Man, this is what I have been trying to say!" they perked up. A small donkey then pushed his way through and trotted over to y/n. "Now, don't get me wrong, I am usually a vegetarian, but when I heard how good your little froggy fritters were I just knew I had to try them, so I helped out with catching them and it turned out I was really really good!" Y/n smiled at him, she hadn't met him before but she liked his spunkiness. "Are you new? I haven't seen you 'round before." she asked the donkey. "You bet, I've been wandering around these hills for donkey's years! Ever since my parents became working mules, I've been having to keep myself to myself and live in the wilderness!"
"Really? You seem ever so civilised!"
"Well, I did have some places to sleep, earned my keep turning a wheel in a kitchen, making the ovens nice and toasty, yanno? I'm not feral!"
"Of course, and your name?"
"Donkey, plain and simple."
"Nice to meet you, Donkey!" Y/n reached out and shook Donkey's hoof.

Donkey had a myriad of tales racked up in his mind, he spent the rest of the night performing them to the other fairytale creatures, much to their annoyance, but y/n found him intriguing. When the frog fritters were finally done, Donkey sat down with everyone else and gnawed away at their tender meat.

"Thank you, y/n!" the creatures said as they finished their meals. Donkey, The Big Bad Wolf, and the three little pigs helped clean up by licking the dishes and pans.

It was time for y/n to leave but it had already gotten dark, "Hey! Y/n!" Donkey shouted after her as she lugged her backpack down the hill on the way back to the swamp, "You need someone to walk you home?" he asked politely.
"Thank you, Donkey but no, I'll be alright. See you next week!"
"Ok, you be safe now!" Donkey shouted as he cantered back up the hill towards the fire lit by the others.
"Bye, Donkey!" y/n said as she waved goodbye to him.

Over the following weeks, Donkey perfected his frog poaching skills until he was the only one left doing it. One week, when y/n arrived near Far Far Away, the fairytale creatures seemed exceptionally excitable and lively, "Y/n, you'll never guess how many frogs we have tonight!" Pinocchio shouted, ever so slightly squeakier than normal. "Yar, yar!" the pigs squealed, "Ve have viele fröggies here!"
"That's so good! Show me the basket then!" Y/n was so proud of them all. When they handed her the basket, it was physically heavy in her hand. "Good God, this will be enough for 6 each! At least!" y/n cried excitedly, already lighting the makeshift stove.

Half way through frying the fritters, y/n had a thought, "Will you all take care of the fritters for me tonight? I just want to check something." The creatures agreed and y/n stood up and walked over to a small cave, hidden away in the hill leading up to Far Far Away. As she went in, she struggled to see where she was going, tripping over a little rock just past the entrance. She heard a grunt and some mumbling, "Donkey?" she asked into the air.
"Right there, sugar, you like that, don't you?" Donkey mumbled from further inside the cave. It was dank in there but y/n's eyes were starting to adjust to the low light. She stumbled precariously further into the cave until she felt a warm, fuzzy mass against her foot, "Donkey?" she asked again. "Oh," Donkey yawned, "hi y/n."
"Are you ok Donkey?"
"Yeah, I'm just tired."
"Well, would you like to join us for frog fritters?"
"Fritters? Already?"
"Yes Donkey, they're almost done."
"Did'cha see how many we got?"
"I don't think there's much 'we' in that, is there Donkey?"
"Well... I don't wanna steal their glory but yeah, those were all me."
"Don't overwork yourself, Donkey. Now, come and eat some of those fritters, you've earned it."

Donkey heeded y/n's advice for the next ten or so months and it seemed to make him much happier, he even took up singing and found that he was rather good at that too! Y/n's visits were always exciting, particularly after everyone began putting effort into the frog catching.

That was until one evening, in the middle of December, when y/n arrived to silence outside Far Far Away. When she asked why nobody was speaking, the fairytale creatures just turned away. Donkey was also nowhere to be seen. Y/n assumed the worst and left the fritter frying up to Gingy to go and search the cave. It had been so long since anyone had been in there that there was ivy growing over the entrance and moss coating the walls. Listening carefully, y/n could even hear the squeak of bats. She stepped carefully inside and called Donkey's name to no reply. She went in further than ever before, to a point where she couldn't even see the light at the end of the tunnel. Donkey was nowhere to be seen.

Y/n emerged from the cave to see all the creatures staring in her direction and quickly averting their gazes by whipping their heads towards the stove and pretending to be interested in the fritters, which y/n could now smell were burnt. When she sat amongst them, Pinocchio came and sat next to her and put his hand on her shoulder, "Farquaad took him."