A Terrific Surprise (Lord Farquaad x Y/n)

The Journey - The Way to Duloc

[a/n]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! this chapter of the fic is for you on this wondrous day yeh filthy deck ape 🦧 i hope barbossa treats you to his green meat candle today 😍 (or you treat him with something else 👀😏🥖🪵)

Fic:
"I'm so happy you're here Donkey but, I've heard nothing about you for so long, what did Farquaad take you for?" y/n asked, desperate to find out what happened to her friend. "Well, it was mid-December when he took me. I was looking for berries in the forest you go through to get back to your swamp-"
"Uh, little donkey, I think you'll find that's my swamp." Shrek interrupted.
"Who are you?" Donkey asked, deliberately sounding snarky to challenge his rudeness.
"Oh! Donkey, sorry, this is my friend Shrek, we live in his swamp together. He rents me a little mud hut there!" Y/n answered for Shrek, scared he'd frighten Donkey away.
"Mhm..." Donkey replied, clearly acting stubborn to annoy Shrek, he wasn't frightened of him at all. "Anyways, so I was looking for berries in the woods," Donkey looked fleetingly at Shrek who rolled his eyes, "and I heard someone coming behind me. I thought it was those three little pigs coming to help me out, but when I turned around I saw a tall white horse with a man riding it."
"Farquaad." Y/n said.
"Yup, there he was! I gave that horse one look and bolted, no way I was sticking around there! So, I got back to the others and I told them what was up, but he was too fast and we didn't have enough time to get away, then he asked, 'Which of you is the most valiant worker?' There was more but I can't remember it all. I thought those fairytale creatures were on my side but they all pointed at me like I meant nothing! As if I haven't been catching all those frogs all that time."
"So Farquaad took you? Just like that?"
"You think I didn't put up a fight? I was yellin' n beggin'! Those guys did nothing, nobody even looked me in the eye." Donkey sighed and sat down, realising they might be talking about this for some time. "What did he use you for? He already had that horse, why did he need you?"
"Well, I know I'm no steed but there was no need for that." Donkey retorted.
"You know what I meant, Donkey."
"He said Fibreglass was too delicate to work during the winter so he needed me to parade him around."
"Fibreglass?"
"That's what he named the horse. Then he took me, tied me to his horse's reins, and made me walk back to DuLoc with him. I worked day and night from then on, he'd even use me to get around inside the castle cuz I was small enough to get in there. It was cold, lemme tell you. I trenched through snow, sleet, hail, crazy winds, you name it, I walked through it. I wasn't even allowed to talk! During the summer he wanted Fibreglass again and tossed me into the dungeons. I wanted out so I sang till the guards got so annoyed they begged him to get me outta there and then I was put in the kitchen, turning the wheel, at least that was something I was used to," Donkey sighed and looked down, "then I busted out, about a seven hours ago. I saw the opportunity when the kitchen staff went on strike and the guards were preoccupied with that, something about Farquaad complaining about their food all the time."

"Anyways," Donkey turned to y/n, "what are you two doing in the woods?"
"Well, we're actually on our way to DuLoc." y/n said, hoping this wouldn't upset Donkey after what he'd told her. "Really? Why would you wanna go there?" he asked.
"I'll tell yeh why," Shrek began, "those fairytale creatures you used to be friends with turned up in my swamp this morning!"
"What?!" Donkey spluttered, "Why?"
"Because Farquaad has taken over the land, the land outside Far Far Away! Whilst you were getting changed, y/n, that little wooden boy told me he'd laid siege on it a few days ago, so they had to hide and leave." Shrek confirmed. Donkey shook his head a little, clearly in awe, then began walking away, slowly but deliberately. "Donkey! Where are you going?" y/n yelled after him.
"You want those fairytale creatures outta your swamp right, ogre?"
"Yes..." Shrek answered, unsure of Donkey's point.
"Well then let's go get them outta your swamp, I'm coming with you to Duloc." Donkey frowned a little before nodding affirmatively to himself and continuing to walk away. "Come on! Catch up!" he shouted over his shoulder.